Don't Forget
by brttmclv
Summary: Jasper has a secret and it's all written down in one leather bound notebook. What happens when a set of curious hands gets ahold of the book? Will the bond of a marriage and family hold strong? Or will it crash around them when the past reveals itself?
1. I Want To Keep Her

**I do NOT own any recognizable characters. Takes place after Breaking Dawn. Renesme is in the form of 17-ish. I'll have past and present chapters, they will be dated. This is a past chapter, hence the year 1919...lol. Ummm, it will have a few dark themes. There is a lot of Jasper's past as the story is centered on Jasper...and Renesme and her snooping ways. There will also be sexual situations. I will warn you ahead of time. :)**

**Enjoy!**

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**July 4th, 1919 - Galveston, Texas**

We stood end of the dark alley, leaning against the red brick walls. I could hear the reverberating heartbeats that filled the area round me and I could feel excitement build up inside my cold, dead body.

"I want you back before dawn," she reminded me in a barely there whisper.

"I will," I promised and pulled my hat further down on my head. "I'll find a good one too." I smirked and walked off. Tonight was one of the very few nights that she let me go alone. She always had us go in pairs or groups but then complained that the targets would get too scared. I finally convinced her that going alone and in a public place would be best to lure them where we wanted. She had let me go alone before but never in a public place.

Until tonight that is.

I pulled my jacket around me and slowly walked down the fog-filled alley. I did not have a plan but I did not think I needed one. Something like this did not need a plan. I needed myself and my ability to lure whomever I wanted.

The door to the local bar swung open as I approached the end of the alley, I looked over and saw a young female walk out. She was wearing a black flapper dress with rhinestones embroidering the neckline.

A neck that, might I add, was very long and welcoming.

She had light brown hair and the softest, lightest green eyes I had ever seen on a human. They were perfectly outlined with long, thick lashes. Her lips were in a natural pout and had a slight nude color gloss coated on, making the lights shine off them.

My eyes worked their way over her tall, lean body and I found myself quite attracted to this girl. Her appearance had actually out weighed her smell for me and that was a feat in itself.

I heard a soft giggle and looked up to her those green eyes staring right back at me.

A wide smile crossed my face and I heard her heart skip a beat.

"Miss," I greeted and tilted my head downwards. The corners of her lips twitched and she bowed her head a little.

"Sir," she smiled and I noticed the tiny dimples on each of her cheeks. Her head was angled down and she was sneaking glances at me from under those lashes.

"Were you leaving?" I asked and gestured to the bar behind her.

"Yes, it's quite the fuss in there. I had to get out," she smiled and I nodded my head.

"I was heading out to the pier, would you like to join me?" I offered and held my hand out. I smiled when she took my hand without the slightest bit of hesitation.

It was over then. The moment she took my hand, it was the end of her life.

I was thankful that I remembered to wear my gloves and that it was a little chilly that night. If neither of these were in my favor, she would have been confused as to why I was so cold. Then I would have had to use my ability and I wanted to refrain from that as long as possible.

"I'm Temperance, by the way." she smiled and tilted her up to look at me. She was quite tall for a woman. Most women in town were a measly 5'4" or 5'5" but she was maybe 5'11", give or take an inch.

"I'm so very sorry. I should have introduced my self." I smiled an apology. "I'm Jasper."

"Well, it's a pleasure to meet you Jasper." she drawled and turned away.

I walked her to the desolate beach and walked her near the pier. I was amazed that she was not frightened or curious yet. Most women would not have come with me and if they did, they would be asking me about myself but not her. She was simply in awe of the view we had from under the pier. The moon was reflecting off the water and made the night brighter.

"You're staring at me, Jasper," she whispered. I was suddenly aware of how close we were. Did I do that? I wasn't sure but I...I liked it. I could feel her body heat on me and it felt amazing. I felt her breath on my face and it washed her sweet scent all over me.

This made the venom pool in my mouth and my throat burned with an intense burn I never felt before. What surprised me though was the fact that I was not hungry for her. I did not want to drink her, bite her, or kill her.

I wanted to kiss her. I wanted to hold warm body against mine and have her all over me.

Her eyes were wide as I slowly leaned down. Another surprise was that they were not wide in fear or shock but in anticipation and want. She wanted me. I could feel her longing and the rise of her lust as I inched closer. I felt her breath on my lips and I could not hold back any longer.

My hands wrapped around her tiny waist and pulled her against me. Every inch of our clothed bodies was touching and it was...heaven. My lips found her hungrily and I shivered when her hands found my chest and started to massage slow circles through my shirt. I tried my hardest not to hurt her with the kiss but she was making it harder but wrapping her long, slender fingers tightly in my shirt and pulling me closer.

My lips moved from hers and trailed hot, opened mouth kissed down her jaw and neck. I shivered again as a wave of lust flowed from her when I nipped at her collarbone. I did it again and elicited a long, soft moan from her.

"Jasper." she whispered. I lifted my head up to look at her in the eyes. The emotions radiating from her were unbelievable. She wanted me. She wanted me as much as I wanted her.

Nevertheless, I was supposed to kill her.

Oh no. I had to kill her but I did not want to. I wanted to kiss her, to touch her and to make love to her. I wanted to hear her whisper my name as I caressed every inch of her tall and voluptuous body.

Before I knew what had possessed me, my hands dropped from her body and I pulled away. The rejection was thick in the air and I gave her a sad smile.

"I'm afraid this isn't a proper way to do things." I told her and she blushed. I wished she'd quit. That reaction was making it quite hard to walk away.

"Would you walk me home then?" she asked.

I could not say no. I never would be able to.

I walked her home. It didn't take long. She lived close to the beach and we sat on her door stoop and watched the fireworks explode as the town celebrated America's birth. I watched in awe as her eyes sparkled with each burst of fire in the sky.

She was absolutely gorgeous.

"Thank you," she whispered. Oh, I said that aloud. I smiled at her and she extended her hand. My eyes fell shut when her soft fingers brushed the stray blonde hair out of my face. Half way to her home, she insisted that I take my hat off. A smile that shined brighter than the sun showed on her face when my shaggy honey blonde hair fell around my face.

"You must go," she murmured and brushed her thumb on my jaw. "You're cold." My breathing faltered.

I was cold. I was cold and dead. I was a murderer.

She was warm and alive. She was smart and beautiful.

"You're name," I thought as I gazed into her eyes. "What does it mean?" I asked. I had wondered this through out the night. I had heard of the word before but not as a name. "I've heard it before but I can't place it."

She smiled shyly and pulled her hand back. "My mother was a poetry fanatic and got it from Psychomachia by Aurelius Clemens Prudentius."

It clicked in my head.

"One of the seven heavenly virtues." I smiled and she nodded. "What does your virtue mean?"

"Self-control." she smiled and I fought hard not to frown. The seven heavenly virtues was a list that opposed each one of the seven dead sins. Each heavenly virtue had a vice in the sins.

Chastity (purity) opposed Lust.

Charity (generosity) opposed Greed.

Diligence (effort) opposed Sloth.

Patience (peace) opposed Wrath.

Kindness (satisfaction) opposed Envy.

Humility (bravery) opposed Pride.

That could only mean that...

"Temperance means self-control." she smiled brightly. I could not return it though.

Temperance opposed Gluttony.

She was Temperance and I was Gluttony. I practiced no self-control...

Until tonight.

My eyes widened and I stared at her. Her smiled was fading.

"Are you okay?" she asked and started to extend her hand again. I stood up briskly and pulled my hat back on.

"I should leave. I am fairly cold." I mumbled and made my way down her steps.

"Jasper!" she called. I didn't want to turn around but I did. My own body was refusing my mind's commands.

Or was it my still heart refusing?

"Will I see you again?" she asked in a whisper. I could hear the desperation as well as I could feel it. That still heart wanted to beat again.

"Temperance," I smiled and walked back over to her. My gloved hands found her face and gently tilted it up so I could kiss her lips once more. "Can I keep you?" I asked when I pulled away. Another blush crept into her cheeks and I smiled at her.

"Yes." she nodded and I kissed her again. I let her face go and she grabbed my jacket before I could turn around. "Don't forget." she demanded. I could see there was so much she wanted to say. She wanted to tell me so much. So much that she did not want me to forget.

However, I knew what she wanted. I would never forget her. I would never forget this night.

"I'll never forget." I promised. With one last bow of my head, I was gone and as soon as the town was behind me, I ran. I ran as fast as I could to get back to the one who demanded me to kill tonight. I knew she would not be pleased when I came back empty handed but I did not care. She would listen to me and grant me my wish or I would leave.

She needed me.

I could feel her as I approached. She was bored. That changed to anger when I appeared in front of her. Her mouth opened to ask me where my kill was but I stopped her.

"I found one." I declared and she waved her hands around the field.

"Then where is it?" she asked, growing more and more angry by the second.

"This one is different." I told her. I could now feel her curiosity. "She is different."

"She?" she repeated and I nodded. Her eyebrow raised and she crossed her arms. She was contemplating whether she wanted to hear this or not. "How different?"

A broad smile crossed my face and I clasped my hands in front of me.

"I want to keep her."


	2. Astoria

**Okay so here is chapter 2. I said I wouldn't update this until chapter 3 was done and until I updated my other Twilight story but I got caught up in reading the last few days and haven't been writing...lol. But I highly recommend Cassandra Clare's Mortal Instruments trilogy...the first two books are out and it's amazing. But I'm back on track seeing as the third book isn't out until March...lol. Thanks to all who reviewed and added me to their faves. I'd love it if you all reviewed, it'd make me happy!! LOL Thanks though.**

**Again, I own nothing.**

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**August 10th, 2011 - Astoria, Oregon**

I closed the worn black leathered notebook and shoved it in my jacket pocket. I didn't need a jacket for I did not feel the fair 66 degree temperature but it had its uses when I needed to hide things.

I guess that is what I was good at now days. Keeping secrets and hiding things. Sneaking off to the woods and staying for hours on reading as I re-read the past. My past. The past that I was not proud of but wished to go back to if, it meant being with her again.

That right there was wrong and selfish.

It was wrong because I would be changing lifestyles again and going back to do the things that my current family had been trying to get me to stop. It was selfish because I wanted to go back to another woman, the woman that I left, while I had one here with me now. It was wrong to do that to Alice.

Alice is my wife.

My head fell back onto the tree and I sighed. Why did everything have to be so complicated? I would love a little bit of simplicity every once in a while. Why did I still have this God forsaken notebook with me? Why had I written down every aspect of our relationship? Why had I fallen for her in the first place?

Moreover, why did I steal time away from Alice to come here and relish in that past love?

I felt like I was cheating on her. Part of me wondered if she knew what I was doing whenever I left like this. I wondered if she saw me coming to this river and sitting under the same tree to read about my past.

If she did, she did not show it. Each time I left, she let me go with a sweet kiss and a bright smile. I hated myself for doing this to her. I tried throwing the book away. I tried leaving it in another town and I almost burnt it. But I couldn't. It held my past, my history and my memories.

It held the last remaining piece of her. It held our love. I could not just let it go like that. It was too strong to simply forget. Besides that, I had made a vow to her. I might feel that I was cheating Alice but at least I kept the promise that I had made Temperance all those years ago.

I would never forget.

A light crunching of the leaves snapped me out of my reverie. My head looked over to my left and I relaxed. I could tell she was nervous. I wasn't sure why but she was. She also wanted to talk.

"Uncle Jay." she greeted and slowly walked over to sit next to me. Her curly bronze hair was pulled back into a messy bun and she had her bangs pulled down over her forehead. She looked so much like her father it was unreal. It wasn't until you looked her in her eyes that you saw her mother. I still looked at her in awe sometimes. The fact that she was born just 8 years ago and looked like she was 18 was still a shock to me. Trust me when is say this, there isn't much that does shock me.

We had all been smitten when we first saw her. It was an instant attraction to the gorgeous baby with such a unique story. She was half vampire and half human. She fed on blood and human food. She had a beating heart but her skin was as strong as mine was. She was quite the talker to, just not in words. The stories and things she could tell you with one small touch, still blew me away.

She was special and I was damn proud to call her my niece.

"How are you?" she asked, fiddling with her fingers.

I smiled at her nerves, "I'm good. How are you?" She looked at me with an incredulous look and I chuckled.

"Like you don't know." she smirked. I held my hands up in mock defense.

"I was respecting your feelings." I declared and she laughed lightly.

"I wish dad would respect my mind," she mumbled and I chuckled again.

"We all do, Nessie. We've wanted that for years." I smiled. I saw her lips press into a firm line and she began to pluck blades of grass from the ground. I could feel her frustrations so I sent a wave of calm to let her know I was here. I saw the corner of her lips turned up and she dropped the blade of grass.

"I start school tomorrow." she sighed and I leaned back onto the tree. "I'm kind of scared." she admitted and I threw her an odd look.

"Why on Earth are you scared of school?" I asked and she looked at me sadly. Her brown eyes were wide and worried.

"Well, I've never been to a real school before. Dad and Grandma Esme have taught me so I never got to be around humans all that much." she trailed off and I reached over to grab her hand. I knew this time would come but I never thought that she would be scared.

Renesme had been insisting to go to a real school since we realized that she had stopped growing, which was only 6 months ago. Edward wanted to hear nothing of it. He did not want her to go 'through the hell that high school has to offer.' He wanted her to 'lead a normal life.' That opened a whole other assortment of problems from, not only Nessie herself, but from Rosalie, of all people, and me. I, for sure, thought that Rose would want to keep Nessie at home and away from humans but she thought it would be best for her to learn to be around humans as we did.

After all, she was half-human.

So after a few weeks of debates and a lot of yelling, Edward agreed to let her go to a real school and interact with humans.

That would have been the ending to that but then little Renesme, filled with her mother's stubbornness, wanted to alter the deal. She wanted to go to high school by herself. Edward decided to play the dumb card and ask what she meant. He nearly died, again, when she told him that she did not want anyone of her family in the same school as her. She wanted to do this without her father, mother, aunt's and uncles looking over her shoulder. He tried to counter that by telling her that we all went to school together.

She was not having it though.

After more yelling and debating, Edward gave in. He sulked for weeks and drove everyone, mainly me, insane. He eventually pulled his miracle child to the side and told her that he was afraid of loosing her and that he would miss her being away from him all day. From what she told me about that conversation, she pulled out the first images of her and Edward and showed them to him. She even made his day by telling him that she could hear him when he would talk to her through Bella's stomach.

That was the sealer.

"If you're afraid that you'll hurt some, Ness, don't be." I spoke and she shook her head.

"That's not it, Uncle Jay." she sighed and I cocked my head to the side.

"Then tell me. You know you can talk to me." I reminded her and she smiled a little.

"It's just-well, what if they don't like me?" she asked and her hand slid out of mine. "I have a funny name and I know I'm going to be one of the smartest at the school. They will think I am a nerd. I see what people do to nerds at school, Jay. I see it on the television all the time. Plus, a werewolf nick named me after a freaking mythical sea creature." she exclaimed, her hands going very which way as she ranted. "I just don't want to be the odd girl out. I know you all kept to yourself and people talked about you guys. I want to fit in and do normal human things. It's all I've ever wanted but I'm afraid that I'll be some weird girl and miss out on that." I could see the tears filling her deep brown eyes and I reached out to her. She moved into my welcoming arms and I pulled her to my chest.

"Nessie, first things first, you will not be the odd girl out. We purposely stayed away from humans but you are different. You are not full vampire. You deserve that human experience just like Bella did before she was changed." I told her softly as she cried into my chest. "You are crazy to think that you will be the odd girl out. You are gorgeous and smart, people that single you out are jealous. They are stupid to not like you and want to be around you. You have nothing to worry about. Just be you, okay?" I felt her head nod and I moved my arms so she could sit up. Her lips were pouted from crying and her nose was red.

She looked adorable.

I used my sleeved to wipe her tears way and she smiled.

"Thank you, Uncle Jay." I smiled back and pulled my hand back.

"One more thing though." I smirked and she frowned. "Don't let your mother, or mine, hear you insult your name. It's special to them." I reminded her and she sighed.

"I know that and I like it but it's not like anyone else's. I don't want people to pick on me," she pouted and I shook my head.

"Get that big bad wolf on them then." I winked and she blushed. I swiftly got to my feet and held my hand down to her. "I think we should get back before someone sends a search party." She took my hand laughing and brushed her pants off.

"That won't happen. That wife of yours would see us out here." she smiled but mine faltered. This brought back the thoughts from earlier. I did not want to admit it but there was a big possibility that Alice knew what I was doing out here.

"Uncle Jay?" Nessie snapped her fingers in my face and grinned. That was Edward's grin. "Will you?" she asked and I was confused.

"Will I what?" I asked sheepishly. She faked a glare and crossed her arms

"It's rude to ignore me," she stated and I held my hand up again.

"I'm so sorry, almighty Renesme Cullen," I relented with a smirk. "Queen of the Mythical Sea Creatures." I added and she let out a squeal.

"Brat!" she laughed and jumped on my back. "I'm going to tell Grandma you said that," she threatened and I faked crying.

"No, please! Don't tell Esme." I cried and she hit my shoulder.

"Hush you." she demanded and got comfortable on my back. Her arms were wrapped around my neck and I had the crooks of her knees in my arms. "Now I asked you to run me back home. Will you?" she asked.

"Of course." I smiled and took off through the forest. This was a vampire trait that little Renesme was never equipped with. She had speed better than humans did but not as fast as the rest of us. She could hear and speak as we could, fast and below a whisper, and she was just as graceful as any other vampire was as well. However, it was the running that she wished for but was not granted. Therefore, for the past 8 years she has made us her transportation on many occasions and had us carry her. I did not see the big deal or fascination with it honestly. However, Bella often told us that letting her ride made her 'feel more human.' She said that Nessie go the same thrill out of it 'as I did before I was changed.' Bella referred to it as a remarkable memory that she tried each and every day to hold on to.

As you might see already, Bella talked a lot, mainly about Renesme. She would gush over the memories and stories that Nessie would share with her. Saying that Bella was a good mother would be the understatement of the century, and saying that it was not easy would be just as foolish. Bella had come to me many times to talk about her and Renesme. She was worried that she would mess it up or not pay enough attention to Nessie. She did not remember too much of her human years so she worried when all these feelings started to arise. I had sat her down one day and told her about her and her relationship with her mother, Renee. I told her that the roles were reversed for them in that Bella was acting as the mother and Renee the child. She had been upset when I told her this but she understood where the feelings came from. Since then she tried her best to be there when Nessie needed her but not too clingy. She was her mother and her friend, never one more than the other was.

"Why do you come out here?" Nessie asked as I weaved through the trees. My pace slowed and I slowly dropped her to her feet beside me. She looked confused at first but I pointed to the small opening that lead to our house. Another blush.

"Just to relax." I answered and she looked at me cryptically.

"Isn't that something you can take care of yourself?" she teased and I cracked a smile at her. She was very witty. "Or do you mean you want to get out of the house and all the emotions?" She was smart too.

"Yes and no. I could focus on someone who was calm and do it to myself but I hate using other's emotions for my own benefit." I told her honestly. "But it does get a little overwhelming for an empath who lives with that many vampires. Even if all are calm its a little stressful feeling what everyone else is feeling." Her eyes were scrutinizing my face and I felt her hesitation.

"I saw you reading," she whispered and bowed her head. She was ashamed now. Why? "I was kind of spying on you," she added and I frowned. Her face fell when she saw mine and she shook her head. "I know it was wrong but I wanted to see where you were at. Alice and Rose were trying to dress me up for school, Dad was playing really pitiful tunes on the piano, mom and Esme looked like they were about to cry and Carlisle was taking my measurements again." That confused me and I cut her off.

"Why?"

"I think dad wanted to see if I had grown any," she growled and I chuckled. "He really does now want me to go to school."

"He's just going to miss you, that's all." I assured her and wrapped an arm around her. She sighed heavily and lolled her head back.

"That's the thing. I'm going to miss him too but I'm not being all melodramatic about it!" she exclaimed and I laughed aloud. There was no better word to describe Edward than melodramatic or any word that had dramatic in or around it. Edward turned into a big baby since he became a father. He would pout when someone else held her, he's get upset when he missed something important and he's get annoyed when she wanted to share a memory with someone other than him. He liked to hog his child but I guess I would to if I had one under the circumstances that he did. She was, again, the miracle baby.

"Anyways, I had to get out of there. It was annoying and I realized that you were gone again and I see how you always come back all relaxed so I wanted to see where and what you were doing." she admitted. "I saw you reading that brown leather book and you looked so peaceful, Uncle Jay. I didn't have the heart to bother you so I waited until you stopped to move again." I felt her sincerity and embarrassment.

"I'm not mad at you, Nessie. I'm a little bothered that you did spy on me, so to speak, but after you put it the way you just did, I can't be mad." I smiled and she breathed a sigh of relief. "Just don't do it again." I warned and she nodded her head quickly. We walked the rest of the way to the house in silence. I could tell that she wanted to talk but she did not want to push it.

"You're not going to tell me, are you?" she asked as we jumped onto the back porch. I walked ahead and opened the door for her with an apologetic smile.

"No. I'm sorry." I told her and she nodded her head sadly. "Maybe one day. Okay?" A bright smile made its way onto her face and she skipped into the open door. I did not follow. I let it shut gently and walked over to the wood railing of the porch. I leaned down on the ledge and hunched over, dropping my head between my hands as I took unnecessary deep breaths.

Now I had Nessie wondering what I was up to. I'm sure a few of the others wondered where I was but they did not bother asking. We all wanted our personal times but I doubt they were thinking about past loves during theirs.

I shook my head and shook the guilt off as I did. I was not doing anything and I honestly believe if I kept thinking that I might believe it one day. I lifted my head back up and stared out into the forest.

We now lived in Astoria. We did not stay in Forks much longer after the whole Volturri incident and them trying to take Renesme. People did not expect to see Bella and Edward with a baby and most were told that she was dead, which she was in a sense, so we moved. We went to Alaska for a long while. Esme and Carlisle were handing a helping hand to Carmen and Eleazar after Irina and Kate took off. They eventually came back and grieved as they were supposed to and then we left. We spent about a year in Toronto before coming here to Astoria and settling. It was as close as we were going to get to Forks so Bella could see Charlie and the pack.

Charlie knew of our moving and visited us frequently as we moved around. He loved seeing Renesme and was quite happy when he found out that she had stopped growing. It was hard for him to see his grandchild keep growing and growing. For a while we thought that she would not stop but she kept slowing down until she did stop at the body of a young adult. Charlie did not ask too many questions, as he was a man of his word. He just wanted to see his daughter and granddaughter. I loved that he was a simple man.

Jacob and the pack also visited us, much to Rose's dislike. Mostly it was just Jake, Seth and Lean but Quil, Embry and Billy came along on occasion. Bella and Renesme loved it when they came to visit. Bella said that having them around made it feel normal. She was able to keep them over her change and it kept some human memories alive. Nessie just loved seeing Jake and everyone knew why. No one spoke of it though, unless you wanted Jake and Edward to tear the house down. That had happened twice so far.

It was when Jacob came to visit that I sued my ability the most. I grew tired of the tension and angry from Edward, the nerves from Bella, the hate from Rose, the unending lust and hormones from Jake and the aggravation from Nessie. I had to give the mental chill pill or I would pull my hair out. Luckily, Carlisle settled for making rules for the visitations.

No hitting, name-calling or rude/crude jokes. No hitting, biting, scratching or throwing objects or each other. Renesme and Jacob had to have supervisions after nine at night unless they were on a date and her curfew was midnight.

The list went on and part contradicted others as he tried to please everyone. Apparently, no one else noticed that Nessie just wanted to spend time with Jake. They would flirt but Jake was not going to push his limits. He might have felt those hormones but he was not giving into them. He cared deeply for Nessie just as she cared for him.

"Jasper."

A small smile formed on my lips and I turned around. Alice was leaning against the doorframe with a smile. All thoughts of Temperance vanished and I focused on Alice. That was my rule. Alice did not deserve to share out time with someone else so when it was us, it was just us.

"Alice." I greeted. She moved from the half open door and walked over to my side. I looked down at her and smirked. She was so unbelievably short. My 6'3" and her 4'11" made for a lot of laughs and funny looks.

"Did you enjoy your talk with Nessie?" she inquired. Her golden eyes looked up to meet mine and I nodded as I brushed a piece of her hair from her forehead.

"Yes, I did actually. I'm glad she knows she can come to me." She smiled and wrapped her arms around my waist.

"She knows you listen and she knows you can feel what she feels. You're the best option out of all of us," she told me. I hooked an arm around her shoulder and pulled her close to me. "I love you, Jasper." Her declaration was unexpected. I could feel an odd emotion that I had never felt from her before.

A tinge of sadness and loss. This hurt me. Alice was never sad. She was always happy and chipper. What caused her to feel this way?

My body tensed when I recalled what Renesme had said earlier.

_That wife of yours would see us out here._

Alice had just asked about my talk with Nessie. If she could see that, she would most definitely see me by myself because she still could not see Renesme clearly. She had to focus on who Nessie was with to see the vision.

She knew what I was doing. I had made her feel this way.

I felt her move in my arms and looked up at me oddly. I gave her the best smile I could.

"I love you too, Alice."

Then she was happy again.


	3. Leilah

**FYI I changed the year for the present chapters...it's not 2008 anymore, it's 2011. Don't ask me why but I wanted to change it...lol. I wrote this in like 2 hours...lol. I'm even finishing chapter 4 and writing chapter 5...but I might switch them and make chapter 5, chapter 4 and make chapter 4, chapter 5.**

**Confused yet? LOL Well, enjoy! This a fluffy daddy/daughter moment and it's all in Renesmee's POV.**

**Oh, one more thing. Someone asked about Temperance and the virtue thing. She's NOT a virtue. It's just the meaning of her name. She's all human...for now. I thought the meaning behind Temperance, self-control, would be ironic to Jasper after he decided to stop feeding off of humans. Like he uses her as his strength to practice self control...get it? But I just wanted to add that. It'll all be explained more as the story goes on. :) Now I'll stop rambling.**

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**August 11th, 2011 - Astoria, Oregon**

I wanted this, right?

_Yes._

I pitched a fit to have this so that must mean that this is important to me...right?

_Yes._

I almost pitted my parents against one another to get one to agree to this so I, not only wanted to do this, but also needed to do this. Right?

_Yes._

Then why in the hell am I so nervous?

"Nessie, language please."

I rolled my eyes and threw my head back, "Sorry, dad."

I hated when he did that. Just because you have the power to read people's minds, with one exception, does not mean that you have the right to...

I waited for a snide remark from him but got none.

Ha, take that daddy dearest. I am right.

"Nessie, don't think about your father like that."

My mouth dropped, "Erm, okay, mother."

How did she know what I was thinking? Oh, wait. Daddy was ratting me out to my own mother. That wimp.

That elicited a chuckle, which seemed closer than I expected. I looked over my shoulder and frowned at my father.

"I'm not doing it on purpose, Ness. I just wanted to see how you were this morning," he told me with an apologetic smile and my shoulders slouched. "I know today is a big day and I knew you'd be a wreck."

"I'm just nervous." I admitted. I felt his arm drape over my shoulders and I snuggled into his embrace. "I thought that I would skip that part because it was my decision." Another chuckle at my expense.

"It's natural to be nervous, even scared. If I must, it's human." he smirked and I rolled my eyes. I pulled away from him and sat down on the bed. He followed suit like I knew he would.

"Are you still mad that I'm going?" My voice was soft when I asked. The weeks that I tried to convince him to let me come were hard on us. He was adamant about not letting me go and I was adamant about going but the last thing I wanted was to have my father mad at me.

"I was never mad at you or about what you wanted, Nessie. I could never be mad at you, no matter how hard I try. I'm merely being a father who is about to miss you for the next 8 hours." he told me. I smiled over at him and he laid a hand on my knee. "I've spent the past 7 years seeing you, holding you and being near you each and every day, all day. I'm going to miss that. I'm going to miss you."

"I'm gonna miss you to, dad, I swear. But I just-" I sighed.

"You want the human experience. I understand. I wanted that for your mother too." a small frown tugged at his lips. My mother, Bella, was changed right after having me. My dad never wanted to change her but he did not want to loose her either. It is still a sore subject for him. He has told me millions of times that I was the only thing that made that memory bearable to think.

"And it still is." he murmured with a tiny smirk. I shook my head laughing and laid my head on his shoulder. "I'm sorry that you thought that I was mad at you. I think it is a great idea for you to start school, I really do. I just wasn't sure I was willing to share you with the world just yet." A grin spread across his pale face. "I quite liked having you all to myself."

"I liked that too, dad." I smiled and kissed his cheek chastely. "But now, when I am home and we do have time to share, it'll be even more special because we'll be making up for the 8 hours that we miss one another." The flicker of emotion I saw in his eyes nearly made me cry. It did not matter how hard I tried to act older and more mature, when I was with my dad, in his arms or on his lap, I felt like the little girl that I never really was. I was vulnerable and eh protected me.

"Oh, Nessie, I love you so much." his voice cracked with emotion and I wrapped my arms around his neck. His lips pressed to my temple a moment before someone cleared their throat at my door. I looked over to see my mom, grinning like a fool.

"I see you two have officially made up." she winked at my dad and he chuckled. He stood up beside her and kissed her hair sweetly. Other kids thought it was gross when adults showed any kind of affection to one another, but not me. I loved seeing my mom and dad show their love for one another...to an extent. I don't want to see their slobbery, venom filled kisses, grope on each other or hear them when they want to show their love in a different way. Nevertheless, I loved seeing the tiniest kisses that he gave her when he would walk into a room. I loved seeing my mom run her fingers through my dad's hair and smile when he purred. I loved seeing my parents be in love.

I wanted that one day.

My dad gave me a wary glance and I bit my lip, "Yes, we had our mushy moment that all normal families have when they send their kid off to school." I smirked and my mom rolled her eyes. "Only I'm a little big to go to kindergarten."

"Well, I'm glad you had your heart to heart. Alice and Jasper are almost ready to leave." My nerves came back after she said that and I sucked in a deep breath.

This was it. This was my time. It was time to face the world without my mom, my dad or my family. It was time for me to embrace the human part of me. It was time for me to face the world and make my presence known.

And I was scared shitless.

The horrid 'what ifs' ran through my head as they did yesterday when I was talking to Uncle Jay. What will I do if no one likes me? What happens if they know that I am different? What if I expose my family? What if I completely ruin the chance that I have and bring down everything that my family has worked so hard to get?

Okay so maybe the last one was a bit over dramatic but I was still freaking out.

I closed my eyes and took a deep breath to calm myself. I will be okay. I will do fine and I will not wreck everything. So what if they don't like me, they don't have to. I like me and my family likes me. That's all I need, right?

I waited for my dad to say agree with me and tell me that they loved me and no one else mattered but when I opened my eyes and focused on my parents, I realized that for once my dad wasn't listening when I really needed him to.

Great.

Instead, he was having a semi-heated argument with my mother.

"I still don't see why you won't let me take her," he growled softly and my mom rolled her eyes.

She placed her hands on his face and smiled, "Edward, if we let you take her to school, you'll come back with her. You wouldn't let her go."

I crossed my arms casually and leaned back onto the stack of pillows on my bed. I loved seeing them fight; it was so...not mean or rude. They fought with smiles and touches, while Aunt Rose and Uncle Em fought with rocks and shiny, sharp things.

"I would not do such a thing." my dad protested and puffed his chest out. I snorted, a curse from my mother, and they looked over at me. "I wouldn't." he repeated and I stood up from my bed.

"Yes, you would. You'd find something wrong with the school and make me come back." I smirked and he frowned at me. "Don't lie, dad. It's a sin." He huffed like I knew he would and my mom scowled at him.

"Let's not start that discussion this morning," she warned. We all knew where my father stood on that ground. He was damned. He was a monster. He was nasty and horrifying.

I wondered if he knew he was calling his wife and his half-bred child all those things too.

Oh, that got a glare from hell. I smirked at him.

"Alice and Jasper are waiting. Finish getting your things and hurry downstairs." With that, she walked out of the room. I sighed deeply, again, and grabbed my backpack off the bedside table. I threw one strap over my shoulder and turned to my dad. Any feeling other than love and adoration was gone from his face and it made me want to cry again.

"I'm very proud of you, Nessie. You're so much more than I expected you to be." he smiled and I walked into his arms again. "You'll be great, don't worry."

"I miss you already." I whispered and he hugged me tighter. I felt his lips press against my hair and I reluctantly pulled back. I felt silly for acting and feeling this way.

"You don't need to feel silly." he assured me. I smiled and gently put my hands on his face as my mother had earlier, only with me he would get a different experience. I closed my eyes when my hands touched him and in just a few seconds, I sent him each and every memory of us that I could. I showed him my first time at his piano, my first grade A on a math test, my first science experiment and my first failing grade that rendered me to tears. Then I showed him how he held me while I cried and explained that I was afraid he was disappointed at me for failing. I showed him how much I loved spending my days with him even though it was learning and just how much I would miss those days.

He slowly pulled my hands away and I opened my eyes.

"I was never disappointed in you, you know that right?" he asked and I nodded. "We might be loosing our time together but, like you said earlier, the time we loose will only be made up in other times and it will be even more special."

I sighed and hugged him once more, "I love you, dad."

"I love you too." he kissed my head again and pushed my back gently. "Now go introduce yourself to the world and make them feel your presence."

Ah, so he had heard me.

"I never not hear you, darling." he smirked. "Now hurry downstairs. Alice is threatening me." I looked at him with a small frown.

"You're not coming down?" I asked and he shook his head with a sad smile.

"Just have a good day and I'll see you this afternoon." he gave me small nudge to the door and with one last look at my dad, I left. I carefully made me way down the stairs and into the foyer of our house. I saw the rest of my family waiting for me and gave them a tight smile. At least my mother and grandmother looked less tearful today.

"You're father will be fine." I looked over at Grandma Esme and smiled. "I was pretty upset when he started school for the first time. Trust me, he'll be okay."

"Just don't be surprised if you come home to a mellow dramatic tune this afternoon. I know he's planning to play a mood killer today." The booming voice of my Uncle Em groaned and I chuckled.

"Sorry guys." I apologized and they all shook their heads. "So are you ready?" I asked and looked over at my Aunt Ali and Uncle Jay. They nodded in unison and I turned my mom. "I'll see you later." She hugged me tightly and kissed my cheek.

"You be good and don't worry about anything." she smiled and I looked over her shoulder to my grandparents. Carlisle walked up and pulled me into his arms and I giggled.

"Ah, my little Renesmee, you've grown far too fast but I wouldn't have it any other way." he sighed contently. "You just relax and you'll be fine. You have no reason to feel lesser than anyone does. You are smart and they will love you." He kissed my forehead and as soon as he let go, Esme lifted me off the ground.

"Oh, I'm going to miss teaching you. I understand that part of frustration from your father." she grinned and set me down. "You are such a good student. A lot better than some members of this family." she pointedly glared at Emmett and we all chuckled. "But you be good and have fun."

"Yeah, kiddo, knock 'em dead." Uncle Em boomed again and as everyone else gasped, I laughed. After a resounding smack from Aunt Rose, he scratched his head and tried to back track. "Er, I mean show 'em what you got." I jumped on his back and hugged his neck.

"Thanks." I whispered and he patted my arm. He always knew how to lighten the mood and I was glad for that. I scooted down and smiled at Aunt Rose. She pouted and wrapped her arms around my waist as I hung mine around her neck. "Don't be sad."

"I'm not, just a little bummed. I'm going to miss having you around all day." she sighed and pulled me in for my hug. I pulled back and walked to the door, where Aunt Ali and Uncle Jay were.

"I'll see you guys later." I whispered and they all smiled and waved as I walked out the door.

The ride to school was quiet and I was thankful for that. I could tell that Aunt Ali wanted to say something but I think Uncle Jay warned her not to be too over excited. She kept the promise until we got to the school.

She looked back at me smiled, "You look fabulous. I bet all the other girls are going to be jealous."

"Alice, they all wear the same thing." Uncle Jay reminded her and she frowned at him.

"Yes, but she makes it look good." she told him like it was something obvious. I giggled and grabbed my bag. "Just have fun. You'll love it." her voice was sincere and I kissed her cheek before looking over at my uncle.

"Thanks for taking me today and thanks, again, for yesterday." I smiled and kissed his cheek. He smiled and nodded his head.

"Anytime, Ness. Now, hurry and before you're late." he smirked and I reluctantly got out of the car. I waved to them as they drove off and slowly turned to the school.

It was huge, like castle huge. It looked like it was made out of rough granite and each tiny tower had little peaks at the top. Of course, there was a school flag on each peak too. I looked around the parking lot and sighed. It was full of shiny, new cars and reminded me of our garage. There were different makes and models of BMW's, Jaguar's, Lexus', and Cadillac's. The car closest to me was a silver Aston Martin Vanquish and I smiled.

It reminded me of my dad. He had taken my mom to prom in this. Speaking of my father, I will have to see if I can convince him to teach me how to drive and buy me a car of my own. I would get tired of them dropping me off all of the time.

"Are you lost?"

I jumped around to where the voice came from and saw a pretty girl about my age, well she looked as old as I did, smiling at me. Unlike the rest of the campus, who were wearing the same blue, black and white pleated shirts and white blouses, she was in a blue and white cheer leading outfit. She had light brown hair with honey blond highlights scattered to make it look like it was straight from a hair magazine. She had light green eyes and full rosy lips. She was gorgeous and I suddenly felt nervous...again.

"Um not sure yet." I smiled nervously. "It's my first day and I was just taking in the view. It's a beautiful school." I figured flattery was the best option. She was beautiful and a cheerleader, there was no doubt in my mind that she was popular and I wanted to avoid getting on her bad side.

"Yes, it is, isn't it? I nearly fainted when I first saw it. Very intimidating for a freshman." she giggled and set the blue paper flyers she was holding on the hood of the Vanquish. It must have been her car because she laid her pom-pom's down too. "I'm Leilah West." she held her hand out and I couldn't help but notice how her fingernails were painted blue and white. How nice.

I took her hand and smiled, "Renesmee Cullen." Her head tilted to the side and she pursed her lips.

"That's a very pretty name. Unique but pretty." she complimented. I was now on cloud nine. She liked me name, ah! Oh, wait, why was I so happy about that?

Ah, yes maybe because everyone else would agree with her about it and not pick on me for having an odd name.

"Uh, thanks. It's a combination of my two grandmother's names." I shrugged and she smiled.

"That's so sweet. I bet they love you death." she reached over and picked up her pom-pom's and flyers again before turning back to me. "Well, no need to waste time and no need for you to get lost. I'll show you to the office and be your tour guide." I blanched and shook my head.

"Oh, no. You looked busy. I don't want to impose." I tried to turn to walk off but stopped. I had no idea where I was going. I turned back to Leilah and she grinned sheepishly.

"I was handing out flyers for tryouts. I'm the captain." she informed me. "But I'm also the senior class president and the head of the welcome committee, so it's also my job to show you around."

Wow, is there something that she didn't do?

"Um, well okay but only because your in the welcome committee and I have no idea where I'm going." I warned her. I tried to hide the relief on my face and in my voice but I didn't do very well. Leilah smiled and linked arms with me.

"I'm glad you gave in." she gushed and we started to walk. "So would you be interested in joining the cheer leading squad? I'd love to have a senior on the team and it's okay if you don't know how to cheer, I can teach you. It's not hard at all and you are pretty tall so you've got to somewhat flexible. Oh, I also have a spot open on the debate team and welcome committee. I think you'd be perfect..."

I couldn't help but smile as she rambled on about all the groups she lead and how much she wanted me to join. She offered to give me special cheer lessons and even help me move up the ranks on the committee. Wondered if she was this friendly with everyone she met or if she was really just taking pity on me.

I looked over at her as she continued to speak and immediately shook that last thought away. She looked genuinely happy to meet me. Her eyes were bright and I knew her cheeks would hurt later on from all that smiling she was doing.

My fears vanished in that moment. I had a friend. My first friend that was not in my family or from La Push. I had a real friend and it was only my first day at school.

I felt human now.

I felt something brush my free arm and saw that she had slipped one of the blue try out flyers in my hand. I chuckled and looked over at her again. Her mood had calmed a little but she was still smiling.

"In case you decide to tryout," she told me and pointed to the flyer. "It has the dates and times."

"Thanks, I'll talk to my parents." I promised and, as if it was even possible, her smile grew.

* * *

**Thoughts? Comments? Reviews? Purtty please?**


	4. First Day

**August 11th 2011 – Astoria, Oregon**

I never thought that I would see the day where I was happy to go to work, much less go willingly into a building full of humans. Sure, it had been a good long time since I had human blood but it was no secret that I was the weaker member of my family. It was not that I did not try, because I did, but I had a rougher past than the others did. I was not changed by Carlisle as Edward, Emmett, Esme and Rosalie were. I was not born in their lifestyle of feeding off animals. I was changed by a savage woman and was born to kill. Killing, feeding and fighting was my life.

To say that it was hard to stop was an understatement. It nearly fucking killed me but I knew I had to. I had more reasons to quit than to keep going. What reasons, you ask? Well, number one was Temperance.

Let me take that back. She was my only reason but it is because of her that all the other tiny reason came about. Before Temperance, I saw feeding as a game. I hunted the prey. They feared me. I snarled, attacked and drained them of life and blood. I enjoyed toying with people and I lived for the fear that they felt.

She changed that on the night I changed her. The pain and fear she was feeling nearly tore my dead heart out of my chest. I did my best to calm her and make her feel anything remotely happy, anything but the excruciating pain she was feeling but it did not help. Instead, I lay next to her and drew her emotions in and I relived the changing process with her. I stalked my prey only a few times after that. However, the reminder of what I put her through, the pain that they were now feeling, it was all too much. After that, I did not toy or play with them. I usually went with snapping their necks and then killing them.

It did not work all the time though. When Maria was around, I could not end it first and then drink. She wanted to watch me stalk and kill. For the last few months that I was there, I wondered if Maria knew that I was getting emotionally weaker and that was why she insisted on following me on missions. It wasn't too long after that, that Temperance told me to leave.

"God," I groaned and gripped my chest, trying to pull out the dull ache that still lingered there. I was relieved that I decided to hang around the parking garage after Alice dropped me off because if anyone saw me now he or she would swear I was having a heart attack or stroke.

It pained me to think about my last days with Temperance. I know she did not want me to leave but she knew I needed to. She was tired of seeing me in pain and in agony over killing people. She was tired of seeing Maria take advantage of me.

I was to...

Nevertheless, I did not want to leave her alone. I knew that Maria would be livid when she found out that I left and she would try to take it out on Temperance, as she always did. Or tried to do.

Since the day Temperance came back with me, Maria hated her. She hated Temperance because I loved her. She hated her even more when we realized that Temperance was more powerful that the both of us. She had a gift that passed my empath abilities and Maria's strategy. She was the perfect bait. She was a key plated in our war and Maria hated it because it meant we needed to keep her around.

I never found out what Maria did because when Temperance told me to run, I did. I ran as fast as my legs would let and I did not stop. While I ran I replayed every image I had of Temperance and I when I finally could not go any further, I simply fell to my knees and cursed the world for putting me through this life.

A life that was away from Temperance. A life that was hell.

"Mr. Hale?" a voice behind me whispered. I turned to see the young mail girl staring me intently. Her blue eyes were wide and concerned. "Are you alright?"

"Oh, yes, Jenny. I'm fine." I hoped my voice sounded calmer than what I was feeling. "Just a little heartburn." She nodded her head and looked down at her feet.

"Um, my dad usually drinks some milk when he gets that. He says it helps." I smiled at her and she cracked one in return. She was always a sweet girl. She never talked much but she was sweet.

"I did not know that, Jenny. Thank you so much." I grinned and she nodded her head, seeming a little more relaxed.

"Alright, well I'll see you later Mr. Hale." she walked off and into the building. I leaned back on the wall and sighed. I needed to stop this. I cannot sit here and constantly think of the life I left behind when the life I have is full of people who have worked their asses off to keep me safe and take care of me. It just was not fair to them.

It also was not fair to break my promise to Temperance though.

The slamming of the building door shook me from my internal battle and I pushed myself off the wall. It was time to go to work. I walked into the building and took the normal route. I took three flights of stairs, two steps at a time. I pushed through the third floor door, made an immediate left, walked to the end of that hallway and made a right. At the end of that hallway was a set of glass doors that had black lettering across them.

Gateway Behavioral Health Center

Dr. Carrie-Anne Hansen - Ph. D.

Dr. Jasper Hale – Psy. D.

Dr. Matthew Garens – Ph. D.

Yes, I was a psychologist. I did not just sit on my ass for the past 7 years. After Renesmee was born and I realized that Bella did not need that much help with her first year as a newborn, I decided to go back to college. It took me 6 years but it fast. Carlisle and Esme thought it was perfect for me because if my talent. They would sit me down regularly and let me practice on them and Carlisle would help me study, even if I did not need it. The rest of the family helped me outside of the academic sense though. They hunted with me regularly and gave me pointers on talking and interacting with humans. Edward and Alice went back to school with me too and they took some extra classes that I had so they would be there if something happened.

Luckily, nothing tragic came about. I never once had the urge to attack a human in class and I was finally confident that I was on the same level of self-control as everyone else. Granted, sometimes I would hold my breath but I found my focus and pulled through.

And here we go again. Back to my reasons to stay focused and stay strong. My personal self-control...Temperance. Was she really this involved in my life even though she was not physically in it? Moreover, why do I suddenly feel like I need to set myself on my couch and start expressing my feelings?

I saw an older man push through the door leading to the waiting room for Gateway and he held it open for me. I nodded a thank you and walked past him. I glanced at the mirror to my right and started to fix my tie. I was not sure when I became aware of my wardrobe but I never wanted to walk into my office looking like I did not belong. I did not like wearing ties, it felt like it was choking, but I got used to it.

My hand froze on the knot of my tie and I furrowed my brows. Where in the world was all that lust coming from? My head slowly turned to my left and I groaned inwardly.

"Hello, Marta." I droned and she grinned at me. Marta was the middle aged, nearly gray receptionist for the Gateway office. Not only was she middle aged and gray but she was extremely sexual and very blunt. Embarrassingly and painfully, blunt, at that. Of course, she reserved that side just for Edward and me, on the odd occasion that he came to visit. Emmett and Carlisle tagged along once to see what she would do but she assured Edward and me that she did not like older men or burly men, so we did not have to worry about her leaving us. It bummed Emmett that she turned him down.

"Oh good morning, Dr. Hale. Do you need help with your tie? If it's not bad to believe all the gossip, I'm very good with my hands." she winked. I watched as she held up her hand and proceeded to wiggle her fingers at me. "Very nimble fingers."

"Uhm, no thank you. I'm good." I blurted out and quickly passed her desk and walked to the end of the short hallway. I forced my door open with my shoulder and shut it behind me. "God, that woman is scary." I muttered and made my way over to my desk. I leaned back in my chair and rubbed my hands over my face. I knew I shouldn't let Marta get to me but I did. She was so...oh, I don't know what to call her without being completely rude, or crude.

I remember the first time Edward came to visit me. He introduced himself to Marta as I was fixing my tie, once again, and out of nowhere, he starts laughing hysterically. I practically drug him away from her and into my office before she could ask if he was a client instead of my brother. I was afraid to ask him what was so hilarious so I ignored it. I wanted to know.

Apparently, Marta was a fantasy freak and she was fantasizing about my tie and me.

Only my tie and me.

Edward said it scarred his retinas but it was too funny just to push aside. I, of course, hit him with an intense wave of pain and watched him gasp in the middle of my office. Needless to say, he let the whole image go and never thought of it again.

Another interruption to my thoughts but this time it was a knock on my door. I prayed that it was not Marta.

"Come in." I yelled and watched the door swing open. I sighed in relief when I saw that it was my assistant, Clarissa, holding my daily planner.

"Expecting someone else?" she smirked and walked over to my desk. I glared at her and reached out for the planner. "Aww, don't be such a sour puss. She's lonely, that's all."

I scoffed as I opened my planner, "Well, I'm not so I should be crossed off her list of fantasies." Clarissa tsk'ed me and took a seat in the chair across from me.

"But isn't that what fantasies are all about? Dreaming of something that you can't have or have little change of having," she asked with a raised eyebrow. "I have fantasies all the time. Most include me and James Franco with the hot blond look he sported in _Milk_."

"Oh, please. He looked like a horrible 1970's porn star." I cringed and she laughed.

"Says a man, but to us women, he was hot. Simple delectable." she added a fake kiss on the end and rolled her eyes back for a more dramatic effect. I could only smirk. Clarissa was something else. She was blunt, like Marta, but not sexually frustrated like our resident receptionist.

"Alright, alright. Who do I have today?" I asked and flipped open my planner. I could feel her grinning when I read my first appointment.

Roger Bert.

"I just saw him on Friday." I sighed and laid the planner on my desk.

"Yes, well he called this morning sounding very, very upset and he needed to see Dr. Hale immediately." her voice was firm but exaggerated. "And before you ask, no, he did not give me a reason."

"That man will be the death of me." I groaned and she chuckled as she stood up.

"He'll be the death of us all. But you get paid the big bucks to get annoyed but crazy people, I don't." she shut the door behind her as she left.

This day just did not seem to be going my way. First my inner turmoil and now I have to sit through an hour with Roger, the anxiety filled OCD client who has frequent thoughts of killing himself. I had wanted to lock him up plenty of times but Alice stopped me. She did not see him actually going through with his threats so I just upped his dosage of both anti-depressants and anxiety medicines.

I really did not mean to bash Roger. He was a decent man, crazy but decent. He liked to talk and talk. And talk. Therefore, it was not hard for his wife to convince him to come see me and get help. His issues all came about after a bad car accident. He would hit his head on the dash and was in a medical induced coma for two weeks while the rest of his injuries healed. When he came about, he was not the same. Everyone knew he had minor brain damage as an effect but no one expected him to have the thoughts that he did. I explained to his wife that the brain was a very tricky part of the human body and even if a hit to the head was tiny, there could be major issues afterward. These thoughts mixed with PSTD did a number on his mental health but his wife stayed true to him.

So far.

Another knock sounded on my door and I sighed. Here goes nothing.

I reached out to grab my timer and called out, "Come in, Roger." The door pushed open in a rush and before I could say hello or smile, he was lying down on the couch, handed folded on his stomach.

"Hurry and hit the button. I have a lot to say before you start the 20 questions," he blurted out and I was shocked. He was usually very calm and collected coming into my office. It was not until after we started to talk that he let his emotions go and expressed what he had to. However, today he was a ball of nerves and regret.

I pressed the start button and he closed his eyes.

"I love my wife. She has stuck by me through thick and thin, just as she vowed to do. She put up with my crying at night and then screaming during the day. She had helped me in every way that she possibly can and had stressed herself just to make me feel better. She held my hand when I admitted that I wanted to kill myself, and when I admitted that I did not know where those feelings were coming from. She did not object when I wanted to come here to you and she never tries to snoop in my business or ask me what we talk about. I tell her some times but most of the time I like to keep it between you and me, ya know?" he paused and looked over at me, silently asking me if that was okay. I nodded and he closed his eyes again.

"She is a God send, I swear and I wouldn't know what to do without her." he sighed deeply and his completely tense body radiated guilt.

"Why the guilt?" I whispered and he looked over at me. He was used to me knowing how he felt before he told me. This is why I was one of the best doctors in town. Most people are afraid to tell someone how they feel even if it's as simple as being sad. I used my ability, and my basic knowledge of human reactions and body language, to help them out. I'd admit to knowing how they felt to save them the trouble. They would think that I know how they feel and therefore, would be more willing to explain their problems.

"Thoughts of killing myself aren't the only thoughts that have plagued me, Dr. Hale," he muttered and I leaned forward on my desk. He was hesitating. God, I hope it is nothing worse that suicidal thoughts or I would really have to lock him up whether Alice liked it or not.

"Roger, it's me. What is said between us will stay between us." I assured him and he nodded. He sat up on the couch and set his elbows on his knees. After a moment's pause, he looked me square in the eyes and confessed.

"I've been thinking about my high school sweetheart. A lot. I will even go as far as saying that I think that I am still in love with her and wish I never had agreed to split up when we left for college. I have even looked her up on-line and I have her number in my pocket right now. And I feel guilty because it's not fair to my wife and I have no idea what to do."

Oh, boy. Ironic much?

* * *

I would never ever pick on my mom for feeling the way she did when she first moved to Forks. She told me that story multiple times and I always laughed when she told me that she felt like a piece of fresh meat. I told her she was imagining things but now I don't.

Everywhere it went, there were eyes on me. If I moved, their eyes followed. I even tried faking a nap in hopes that they would get bored and look away. I wasn't that lucky apparently. I could still feel their eyes burning holes in my back as I laid my head on my desk. I was starting to feel uncomfortable. I will even admit that I was missing the excessive perkiness that was Leilah. She was energetic but fun. She had the type of energy that radiated off her and to the people around her.

After she gave me the impromptu tour of the main campus, she showed me to me first class and told me that she would see me at lunch. It bummed me out to find out that we did not have any classes together but we did have the same lunch period.

So far, though, school was not so bad. I had five classes: Biology, World History, Calculus, French and Literature. I knew I would pass so I was not worried about that. It was just the people. Leilah seemed to like me but part of me wondered if she treated every new person like that. After all, it was her job to make sure everyone had a warm welcome. I would just have to wait and see.

The decisive moment came fast and soon I was walking to the double doors that lead to the lunchroom. Leilah promised that she would meet me here but I was still afraid that this morning was all a show. I squeezed past a group of girls and walked into the huge cafeteria. It was just like the parking lot this morning, a sea of blue and white and nothing but girls.

"Renesmee!" I turned to see Leilah waving at me from a circular table in the center of the room.

She was not alone.

That should not have surprised me though. She was pretty and perky. I knew she would have friends and loads of admirers. The girls sitting with her did not disappoint either. All three of them were just as gorgeous as the brunette who was waving at me.

To Leilah's right was a girl who had a head full of bright red hair. This should have soothed me because I would not be the only one with fiery hair but it did not. This girl's hair was perfectly sculpted in loose waves that hung on her shoulders and a pulled back from her face with a white headband. She had a section of curled bangs that hung out of the headband and around her face. She looked like she was analyzing me and, for a second I was embarrassed that I was staring at her, but she gave me a bright smile and leaned over to whisper something in Leilah's ear. Leilah smiled broadly and winked at me. I guess I was approved my best friend number one. But what about the other two?

The girl next to the redhead did not look too pleased to see me but she did not look mean. Poor girl looked down right confused. She had dark brown hair and eyes that reminded me of my moms before she was changed. Her hair was also hanging in perfect waves but she did not wear a headband. Instead, she wore a single sparkly clip that helped pull the hair back from one side of her face. She, too, turned her head to whisper to the girl next to her but she turned to her left and whispered into the ear of the last girl.

She looked utterly disgusted. I was not sure why because I had not seen her once today and no one knew of me. Still she looked at me as if I was the worst possible person on the Earth. Her blond hair and unnaturally large chest reminded me of Regina George from the movie Mean Girls and part of me felt that I would soon have more similarities to make between the two.

That did not make me feel any better.

Leilah looked up at me when I stopped behind the chair beside her, which was the only empty one, and smiled, "Have a seat. I saved it for you." I gave her the best smile I could manage and pulled the chair out and sat down. I sat my bag down beside me and looked at the table. They were all staring at me.

"Renesmee, this is Katerina," Leilah pointed to the red head next to her with a pleased smile. "She's a senior like us and the co-captain of the cheer squad."

"It's nice to meet you, Renesmee." Katerina reached her hand over the table. I shook it gently. "And please, call me Kat." she begged with a friendly smile. "Katerina is reserved for my parents when they are mad and the principal when she's PMS'ing and isn't in the mood for me and my impromptu cheers in the hallways." Leilah and the brunette giggled softly but the blond was quiet.

"Julie is next to her, she's only a junior." Leilah continued with her introductions but did not give Julie any time to say anything like Kat had. "And down there is Linzi, also a senior and Julie's older cousin." I smiled at them and got nothing. I could see Kat nudge Leilah and glance at the two of them.

What the hell?

"So, Renesmee," Linzi smirked and leaned forward on the table. Uh oh. I saw Leilah glare at her but Linzi ignored it. "Fresh meat, eh? Give us the low down. Who you are, where you came from, how you managed to get into a fine schooling establishment like this?"

"Don't be ride, Linzi Kaye." Kat warned and Linzi shot her an icy glare.

"I'm not being rude." she smiled and leaned back into her chair. "I just want to get to know the new girl. I want to see what Leilah sees in her." Leilah rolled her eyes and started picking at the chicken on her plate.

"Well, uh I'm from Forks, WA. originally. My family and I moved here almost a year ago...well, we live about 45 minutes away from here." I told them. My voice was nearly a whisper and I did not dare look up at them as I spoke. I would end up stuttering and forget my words because I'm sure their stares looked more intense than they felt right now.

"Why not go to a school near where you live?" Julie asked. She sounded less threatening than Linzi but I could hear the ice in her words.

"This was the only school my dad would let me go to." I answered and someone scoffed. Linzi most likely.

"What did you do to be exiled to this all girl's school, get pregnant and have an abortion?" she asked. I felt the table bump and that is when I looked up. Leilah and Kat were staring Julie and Linzi down. After a moment, Linzi looked away and back at me.

"No," I growled. "I've been home schooled all my life and my father wanted what was best for me. This school was the best around so he agreed to drive everyday to let me come here. And I managed to get into this fine school establishment because my family happens to have money and good connections. Anymore questions or would you like for me to tell you the rest of my life story. I'm sure it would be a lot more interesting than anything you have to say."

A silence fell over the table and a few of the close ones around it. Linzi held my glare and suddenly stood up from the table. Julie scrambled to her feet as Linzi snatched her tray from the table and stalked off. I watched them walk off and grabbed my stomach. I was feeling sick now. I just insulted the friend of the only person who has talked to me on my very first day of school. I was toast.

I saw Leilah push herself back from the table and walk after them.

Oh my God, I am ruined.

"I should have had my camera phone ready. That shit was priceless." Kat laughed and I looked over at her. She had her phone out not and her fingers were going a mile a minute on her keypad.

"What are you doing?" I asked slowly and she looked at me over her phone and smile.

"I'm texting the 147 people on my contacts list and telling them that you, my dear, just put Linzi Garver in her place, which if you haven't guessed, is on her ass and that doesn't happen. Ever." she looked back to her phone and I gaped at her.

"You're not mad at me?" I asked. Her fingers stopped in mid text and looked at me like I had three heads.

"Honey, no, I'm not mad at you. Neither is Leilah." she assured me. "Linzi is a bitch to everyone, except me and Leilah because we have too much blackmail on her slutty ass, and Julie follows her around like a little puppy. I am glad that you stood up for yourself. It gave me and Leilah a break form sticking up for people."

I stared blankly at her and she chuckled softly before putting her phone away and standing up, "Come with me." I walked after her and we were outside in the front courtyard.

"You've never been to public school, right?" she asked and I nodded. "But I'm sure you've watched TV shows and you've heard about cliques, right?" I nodded again. "This isn't like a public school and we don't have cliques. There are no punks, no Goths, no preps, no skater people and no wanna-bes. Want to know why?" she asked. Once again, I nodded and I was starting to feel like a robot. She chuckled as if she knew what I was thinking.

"Because in this school, everyone is the same. Everyone comes from a rich family and does not know the meaning of 'no' or 'different'. We come here dressed in our matching uniforms and do our school work to go to an Ivy League school like our parents before us. It is all the same. We all blend together. Yes, some girls are noticed as the most popular but it is not for looks or whatever gets you popular on Gossip Girl or The OC. We get popular for our brains and out personalities. The more original and imaginative you are, the more you get recognized because you start to grow from the mold of everyone else." She took a deep breath and smiled over at me.

"Now, I don't want to bore you with every detail of the school right now but I will tell you that before you came along, Leilah was the new girl. Linzi and Julie's family have come here for decades and they thought they were the Queen B's of the school. Do you get where I'm going?" she asked and I nodded.

"Leilah showed up and people took notice of her instead of Linzi and Julie." I guessed and Kat nodded.

"Exactly. Leilah is a very open person. She is the biggest sweetheart you will ever meet, she is passionate about anything and everything she does but she can also be your worst fucking enemy. She showed up and everyone took notice because she has a personality. She is a free spirit and is different from everyone else here. She helped me break away and Linzi hated it."

"Then why are you all friends?" I asked thoroughly confused.

"Because even though Linzi can't stand Leilah, she admires her for being herself and not some re-make her of family before her. Linzi grew out of the mold but not for the good. She became a bitch, Julie become a little puppy and I became me." she grinned and I smiled at her.

"So Leilah helped bring some change, huh?" I said more to myself than to Kat.

"Yep." she nodded and popped the P at the end. "Other schools talk down about cliques and stuff but it's not the cliques that are the problem. It is the people in the cliques that think other cliques are lesser than they are, they are the problem. Everyone is different and our school cannot see that. But Leilah is showing them."

"So where do I stand?" I asked. Kat smirked and patted my shoulder.

"You stand with us for standing up for yourself and not letting Linzi put you down. You did not cower at her feet and become like the rest of the school. You stood out," she said. "You are different."

Yes, I am different...in many ways and fitting in is so overrated in my books now.

* * *

**Sorry! I'm moving and still have not net on my computer yet. I'm working on it though. I'm iffy on this but people said Leilah seemed too nice or something. I swear she's just like that...lol. Well, enjoy and reviews would make my day...no year! :)**


	5. Thinkin' Things

**July ****4****th****, 1919 – Galveston, Texas**

It was almost as if time has stopped completely. The wind stopped blowing, the crickets were not chirping and all movement in my body and hers ceased. I could feel the confusion and anger seeping through her pores. I wondered if she knew what I asked her.

"You want to keep her?" she repeated and I smiled broadly.

"Yes." I nodded and watched her bite her bottom lip. She was thinking.

"And by keep her you mean change her, fight with her and let her live, for lack of better words?" she asked and I nodded my head. "Why?" My smiled faded.

"What do you mean why? I want her. Isn't that enough?" I shouted and she glared at me. Her blood red eyes narrowed and she took a few steps towards me. To everyone else she was intimidating but not to me. I had an ability and she did not.

"Do not raise you voice at me." she hissed and I smirked.

"Or what?" I challenged. Her eyes widened as I sent a wave of calm her way. I could feel the fury boil deep down inside but I kept it at bay to prove my point. I had her in the palm of my hand. She might be the leader in all this but she is not the strongest.

"What will she do for us?" she asked once I had stopped the wave. Her posture was less rigid but her tone was still icy.

"Nothing." I answered. "But she will do a lot for me." Her eyes widened and she let out a loud screeching cackle.

"You want her as a mate?" she exclaimed and threw her hands in the air. After a moment of this, she froze and her anger was back. "I didn't send you to find a mate, Whitlock. I sent you to find soldiers! Soldiers that will fight with us and soldiers that we will kill after their year. We need an army and I don't need you being love sick when we fight!" she shouted at me and I glared at her. In a seconds time I had my hand around her neck and I sent wave after wave of terror to her.

"I want her." I growled in her face and she started to shake with fear. "Whether you like it or not. I want her and I will have her. Then we will both go find you your damn army. Is that clear?" I asked and her head nodded as best as it could. I let her neck go and she fell to hers knees. I withdrew the waves and I felt the irritation instantly.

"You better not make me regret this." she warned I ignored her threat and turned around to head back to town. Her threats were as empty as her soul. She would never do anything to piss me off or risk me leaving. She needed me.

Maria was the one who changed me. I was a soldier in the Civil War when I came across her in Houston, Texas. It was 1863 and I was just 20 years old. Maria and two of her newborns found me as I was patrolling the county line. I ordered them to head back to their home but they would not. In an instant hew newborns were on me and trying to kiss me. They thought seducing me would work, I guess. I tried to get them off but I could not. I did not know that they were vampires but I found out real quick. Maris made the two others move and she literally shoved me off my feet and onto the ground. I could not move as she straddled me and ripped my shirt open. I barely remember screaming in agony when her teeth bit into the flesh of my chest. The others two were right behind her; one grabbed my neck and pushed it to the side while the last was having my wrist.

After that, it was blurry. I woke up to Maria's face hovering over mine. She was on top of me again and I could feel her massaging my through my pants. I rolled her off me and jumped off the ground. That cackle filled my ears and I grimaced. I knew at that point that it was the start of a long and miserable existence.

I was right. I found out real quick what she wanted to do and why she was doing. Luckily, she saw something in me and I was one of the few who got to live. It was not long before we realized that I was an empath and I was instantly as her side for everything. I did not mind it that much. For the most part, it meant that I have to push newborns around instead of being pushed around myself. I got to attack and kill whom I wanted, when I wanted and how I wanted. I loved it.

I was in control of being out of control.

The mere mention of the word control sent my mind back to its current state. I was going to see Temperance and I was going to change her. I was going to make her what I am and I was going to be her mate. A satisfied smirk crossed my face when I saw her home.

I could see a light on in the house and I slowly made my way up her steps. I grasped the door handle and, as quietly as I could, I snapped it off the door. It swung open just as quiet and I made my way inside. I looked around the living space and decided to have a look around.

She had paintings galore. Paintings from France, London and Rome. They were of rich socialites and of lone figures in the dark. Books completely covered one of her walls. I scanned the shelves and saw novels and poetry collections. I briefly wondered if she had read any or all of them. I moved from the books and ran my fingers across a piano. There was hand written music on the top but before I could read it, I heard something.

Her heart.

The soft beating lured me to the stairs and I slowly made my way up. I had to admit it was a beautiful sound. I would miss that. I would miss her blush and her warmth. I would miss her brown eyes too.

These thoughts stopped my outside of her bedroom door. I would miss her being human. That was odd. I wanted to kill her but I was already regretting it. I would miss so many things about this human that I never thought about before. I never felt this guilty for changing someone. I never felt bad about being the one to single handedly stop their hearts from beating.

Temperance was having a rather weird effect on me.

The fact of the matter is, I want her forever and if that means giving up her warmth and never seeing that attractive blush again, I would do it a thousand times over. I already had my mind made up.

I pushed her bedroom door open and smiled when I saw her. Her soft brown curls fanned across her white pillow and the milky skin of her chest, which was barely covered by a white cotton nightgown. The thin straps were hanging loosely on her shoulders and were slipping more with each sleep-filled breath that she took. Before I knew it, my hands were trailing up the edge of her bed, over her silk sheets, and racing to her heated body. I knew it would only be a matter of time before she realized someone was watching her and that both scared and excited me. I did not want to scare her but I had grown accustomed to feeling the fear when I was getting ready to attack.

While the war waged in my mind, my hand finally reached its destination, her neck. I let my finger graze her pulse point and move down her throat. My eyes glanced up to her peaceful face, waiting to see a sing of any disturbance but there was none. She was still in a deep slumber but I could feel that my actions were starting to affect her. Her eyes moved quickly behind her lids, her skin grew warmer and her heart beat faster as my finger moved down her skin and to the exposed skin of her chest.

My hand opened up when I felt the cotton of her dress and it grazed her breast with my palm. A short gasp made me look back up at her and I grinned when I saw her eyes open quickly. The hand that was gripping her pillow moved to cover her mouth, ready to stifle a scream.

She did not scream though.

Her eyes were wide with confusion and a growing lust as she tried to look into my eyes. I was, again, thankful for the dark that covered us or she would have screamed at the sight of my blood red eyes.

We stared at each other for a few short moments and I finally moved my hand away. To my extreme surprise, she stayed quiet. I shook myself from the momentary state of shock and focused on her. I could feel that she was a little confused, which I understood, but there was only a tinge of fear. Above those, she was surprisingly very trusting and very...aroused?

I watched with curious, and again shocked, eyes as she slowly leaned up and moved to sit on her knees. The cotton dress fell to the tops of her thighs and they begged to be touched.

I obliged.

Both hands shot out and gripped the end of the cotton dress and her legs underneath. Another gasp escaped her lips and I knew I had messed up. My hands are unnaturally cold, so I knew she would feel them through the thin cloth she wore, and I pulled them back in an instant.

"What's wrong?" she spoke for the first time, sleep and lust heavy in her voice. I looked up at her warily and she smiled. "I was hoping you'd come back." I smirked and moved my hands back. I fisted her nightgown in my hands and pulled her body against mine. Her lips found mine when our bodies touched and I responded greedily.

"I thought this wasn't the proper way to do things?" she asked when I moved my lips from hers and moved them down her jaw and to her neck. I smirked against her skin and nipped her neck softly.

"Are you complaining?" My voice was deeper than it ever had been and I felt her shiver.

"God, no." she breathed out. Satisfied by her response I moved my lips back to her neck and I nearly bit her the moment I found her pulse. It pulsed rhythmically under my lips. I ran the tip of my tongue over it before I closed my lips around it and sucked on it gently. The beating echoed in my mouth and the most beautiful moan escaped her lips.

I nearly jumped out of my skin though when her hands moved down my chest and to my pants. I thought for a moment that she was going to unbutton them but she pulled my shirt from my pants instead. I pulled away from her neck and looked down as her tiny fingers unbuttoned each of my buttons as slowly as she could.

"I hope you're not in a hurry," she purred as she popped another button out. Her eyes turned upward and she was looking at me from under those think lashes again.

"Not at all." I told her and she went back to work. I wanted to tell her that we had forever but for some reason I felt that she already knew that. My original plan was to come here and start the process of changing her but that changed when I found her waiting for me. She looked so beautiful there perched on the side of her bed.

I wanted to be with her before I changed her. I had never been with a human since my change and I barely remembered the nights I had with woman when I was human myself. I wanted to feel her warmth as I made love to her. I wanted to feel her blood pulse through her body as it pressed against mine. I wanted to have her now before I had to wait three days for her to finish the change and then explain that I had taken her life. Tonight was my chance to show her how I feel because I did not know when the next time would be.

For all I knew, she would hate me for changing me. I hated Maria for doing to it me. That faded after a while. It was useless to hate her. It was not like I was going to hate her until I died, I would be carrying that hate for the rest of my existence. There are just some things you simply have to forget when you are a vampire. Everything is longer than when you are human because there really is not a limit.

"Oh my God." Her gasp shook my out of my thoughts. It took me a second to realize what she was staring at and when I did, I pulled my shirt closed. Her wide brown eyes met mine for a second and, for once, I felt ashamed. "Jasper, what happened to you?" she asked as she traced one of the many scars that tattooed my body.

Part of being in Maria's army was of course to kill the newborns once they were weak, which was after about a year. Well, they might not be as strong as they were when they were first changed but they are still strong. It was part of my job to help kill and dispose of them. I fought and they fought back, ergo the hideous crescent shaped scars. They liked to bite, how ironic.

"Let me tell you later." I pleaded, taking her tiny hands in mine. There was no way for me to explain to her how I got all of these scars and if I did come up with some kind of accident it might ruin the moment. I wanted this one night with her.

It felt like hours passed before she slowly moved her hands out of mine and pushed my shirt off my shoulders. I leaned down and kissed her, my arms wrapping around her when they were free from the shirt. I pulled her body to mine and she wrapped her arms around my neck, pulling herself up to deepen the kiss. A jolt went through my body when her tongue ran across my bottom lip. I granted her entrance and could not stop the low growl that escaped when our tongues met.

So sweet. So warm. It was like heaven for the second time that night.

I grabbed the end of her gown and broke the kiss long enough to pull it over her head. I went to recapture her lips but...

Oh my.

She bit the corner of her lip as I stared at her. She was not wearing anything under her dress. My jaw clenched and I slowly grazed her breast with my thumb.

She licked her lips. I smirked.

I trailed my finger down the valley of her breasts and to her naval. I circled it.

Her chest rose as her breathing quickened. I kept smirking.

I saw the goose bumps on her skin but she was not uncomfortable by my cool touch. I stepped closer to the bed and my knees hit it. I watched her face as my finger stopped circling her naval and slowly moved down. I traced tiny circles on her hipbone.

Her eyes closed and she chewed on the bottom of her lip.

My free hand went to her lips and she stopped chewing. Her eyes opened and I moved in to kiss her again. I moaned into her mouth when her fingers buried themselves in my hair roughly. I grabbed her by the hips, lifted her up off her knees, and pulled her to me. I moved onto the bed and laid her in the center without breaking the kiss. Her touch was light as her fingers danced across my abdomen and down my arms but it was not a touch I would ever forget. It was a touch that did not try to skip over my scars or hesitate in touching them. She traced them carefully and memorized each one as she continued her journey.

She was definitely one of a kind.

She breathed my name in my ear and I closed my eyes. My name had never sounded so good and I have never felt such satisfaction than when she said it. I wanted nothing more than to kiss, touch and taste the rest of her body but I could not move my lips from hers. Every time I went to pull back, I missed them and I had to go back for more. I had never felt this way before.

I paused. My eyes opened and I stopped kissing her when the realization hit me.

For the second time tonight, I felt human. I felt an intense attraction to this woman and not her blood. Granted, I did want her blood like a kid wanted candy but this was different. She was different. This only added to the reason why I wanted to keep her as my own.

"Jasper?" she urged me back to the present and I smiled down at her. "Please, don't stop. Don't over think this." Those words sent me into overdrive. I pushed my lips against hers, almost too hard, and pressed my body down on hers. If she was in any kind of discomfort, she did not show it. Her tongue fought with mine in a tireless battle and her hips ground against mine in an attempt to create some kind of friction between us.

It worked.

I groaned into her mouth and ground back into her, relishing in the feel of her heat against me. It was then that I realized I was still wearing pants and I shed them quickly. The moments after that was so life changing and amazing that, no matter what words I use, I would never be able to convey it right and properly. No words can fully describe how it felt to have her skin on mine as we made love that summer's night. No phrase or sentence can explain how right it felt to be inside of her and have her around me. No poem or famous quote can reiterate the feelings that flowed in that room. Feelings that I had felt all my vampire life and feelings that felt vaguely familiar but I could never place when I had felt them. However, there was one word, at the very end of the night that I would use.

Mortified. I will also say that it was the more fear I had ever felt, and that says a lot.

The change in emotion was so sudden that, if I had the use of my lungs, it would have knocked the air out of me. It went from a complete and utter feeling of relief and satisfaction to the dreaded fear that I can still feel to this day. It was the fear that she felt when we opened our eyes and, in the moon glowed room, she looked up into mine. For the first, time in our short time together that she saw the true color of my eyes.

"What-I don't-" she tried to grasp her words but she failed. As she did this, the fear escalated and in the time it took her to blink, I was off her and had my pants on. She sat up as soon as my body was off hers and opened her mouth to scream. A sliver of an ear-piercing scream filled the night air before I had her pinned to the bed with my hand over her mouth.

"Please, don't fear me." I begged, not looking at her. It was and enough that I could feel it but I could not handle seeing it written on her beautiful face. This was not how I wanted the night to go.

Wait. How did I think the night would go? Break into her house, have sex with her, then bit her and expect her to be okay with it?

I felt the pressure of her lips trying to move under my palm and I slowly moved it away a little.

"Please, just go. I will not tell anyone. I swear." she pleaded; the lust that was present in her voice earlier was completely gone. I could feel her chest press against mine repeatedly as she took in short but deep breaths and released them. She was on the verge of hyperventilating. I sighed deeply and moved my hand to rest on her cheek.

"I'm not going to hurt you. Please, with everything that you are, do not think that I am going to hurt you." I begged again and I felt her breathing calm. I risked a look at her face and bit my lip. Her eyes were still wide and her mouth was hanging open. "I don't want to hurt you." I whispered and she blinked, as if she were refocusing. She looked at my eyes again but not into them. I could feel the wonder mixing with the shock.

"If you promise not to start screaming or attacking me, I'll get off of you and let you get dressed." I offered and after a minute, she nodded her head. I was off her and across the room, looking at the wall, before she could take another breath. I could hear her move around to gather her nightclothes and then it was still again.

"I'm dressed," she whispered. I looked over my shoulder, to make sure, and saw her sitting on the side of her bed. She was shaking. "I'm scared, Jasper." her voice was shaking too and the whole scene made me want to hit myself.

"I know."

In a voice that I could barely hear she added, "But not of you." My head snapped to her and she quickly looked away when she met my eyes. "I'm scared of your eyes and your scars and I should be scared of you but, for some insane reason that I cannot grasp, I'm not. I know you're not-" she paused, trying to gather her thoughts apparently. "You're not human, are you? Not...normal?"

"No, I'm not." I figured I would answer her honestly seeing as she was not screaming bloody murder or trying to murder me bloody.

"Normal or human?" she asked, almost exasperated, and I almost smirked.

"Both. I'm not human and I'm not normal for what I am." She looked up at me and gripped the bed sheets in her tiny, shaking hands. She wanted to ask me what I was. She also wanted to ask why I was here and what I was going to do to her. All of these were appropriate questions but she was scared to ask them. Well, she was not scared to ask them, she was just scared of the answers. So...I answered them for her.

"I'm a vampire, Temperance. I can feel people's emotions and I can manipulate them, which I have never done to you by the way. I was sent into the city tonight by another vampire to look for humans to join our army, to look for potential soldiers. I was going to wait by the bar door and wait to see who came out. I was going to pick the best candidate, lure them to the back alley, where I would attack them, and drag them back to our hiding place. I was so sure that tonight I would find some of the best men, and maybe women, out tonight that my night would be over shortly." I stopped there to look at her again. She had been going through so many emotions that I was surprised that she did not pass out.

Shock. Fear. Disbelief. Awe. Wonder. Confusion.

She did not look away from me when I got on my knees in front of her. She did not even flinch when I held her chin in my hand and made her look at me. I was pretty sure that she was frozen in shock though.

"When you stepped out of that bar, Temperance, for the first time in my life I was stunned. Never had I seen someone so beautiful as you. Your beauty over powered your blood and that it a major feat for me. I know I should have walked away or killed you right then but I was selfish and I walked with you. I talked with you and when we parted, I went back Maria and asked her if I could keep you. I have been selfish all night long and I will continue to do so because I was serious when I asked if I could keep you. I want you all for myself. The thought of you being with anyone else but me is painful." I took a deep breath and rubbed her cheek with my thumb. "And I hate being in pain. I have not truly happy in years. You made me happy tonight. Even now, just sitting here with you, even though you're scared senseless of me, I am happy."

A single tear fell down her cheek and I quickly wiped it away.

"Temperance, can I still keep you?" I asked. I was not sure how long it had been since I last prayed but tonight I did. I prayed that the next word that broke the silence was yes. I prayed that if she did say yes, that I could somehow make it hurt less and that afterward she would not hate me for what I had done. I prayed that whatever God or Holy force was out there, I prayed that he would let me keep her for the rest of eternity.

A long shuddering breath escaped her lips and after that came an equally shuddering answer, "Yes."

* * *

**Sorry for the wait. And sorry for only updating this but it's all I have eyes for as of now. Next chapter will be a present chapter with a pick up of this chapter in it's own unique way. :) I'm giving you a look into Temperance's mind...so to speak. I hope you enjoy this and review, please!!! :)**


	6. Big News

August 19th 2011 – Astoria, Oregon

8 days. Or 192 hours, depending on how technical and accurate you are. That is how long it has been since I have been trying to give advice to a patient. Usually, this is not hard for me to do. I am good with advice, I am good with helping people sort out there emotions and I am good at helping them come to terms with said emotions. But not this time. This time the man told me his problem and I thought he was reading my mind.

He is in love with his past love. He's constantly thinking about her, dreaming about her and wanting nothing more than to find her, talk to her and hold her close and make up for all the time that they have spent apart. That sounds all find and dandy, right? Sounds romantic and every woman would want a man to think that way about them, right? Well, like everything else in life there is a catch.

He is married. He loves his wife and he feels like a complete and utter cheat to be thinking of another woman while he shares a bed and a ring with a different one. Not so right now is it? Not romantic anymore. Woman would slap him and call him a looser if they knew what he was confessing to me. They would say that he does not love his wife and he is liable to go out and cheat on her.

Nevertheless, I know how he feels. He loves his wife with his every being. He would give his life and everything in it to keep her safe and happy. However, there is still a part in him that aches for his old lover. A part that never went away, even when he married his wife. A part that never fully went away but was put aside and kept secret to keep the pain at bay and to a minimum. A part that as now resurfaced and has consumed his mind with tragic '_what if..._'s and '_maybe this or that.._.' A part that doesn't mean any harm but is simply making it's presence known again and saying '_remember when..._' and...

_Don't forget._

He spoke aloud my own feelings and 8 days later, I still do not know what to tell him. Fortunately, he has to cancel last week's meeting for work related reasons so he gave me more time to think. I now have six more days to think it through and not only come up with a 'fix it' for him but for me to. Even though I do not have the pleasure of being in the same city as my old lover, I still want to clear my mind and find a way to make me feel less like a bad guy and more like the devoted mate I have been for decades. I do not like feeling as if I am hurting Alice. I do not like knowing that she could know what I am doing in my spare time.

I rubbed a hand over my face and sighed deeply. The forest was quiet today, which was odd but expected. Sometimes I think the animals know when I come here, whether to hunt or to think. Every time I come out it is quiet and serene. No birds chirping every 5 seconds, no branches cracking from a deer walking by and no melody from the crickets. Rosalie thinks I am crazy when I tell her that the animals are smarter than we think. They can sense when they are being preyed on. They just are not quick enough to run from the predator. Which is me, of course.

However, today I wish I were hearing the soft chirping of the birds. I would even love to hear the swishing of the wind but it too is gone for the day. It is about as silent as it will ever be and it is killing me. The silence is killing me and the letter in my lap is burning a hole in my jeans. Every time I look down, I swear I can hear her soft voice calling for me to open it and read her words again. I have read it many times since she left it on my pillow that summer. The summer I changed her. The summer that changed me.

Now, I am going to read it again. Why? Because it soothes me. Why? Because for so long, I thought that she hated me for changing her. I thought that she resented me for what I did to her. I thought she would regret saying yes. But she did not.

She didn't.

December 25th, 1919

To my love and to my life,

This is all I can give you for now. I know it is probably not the best Christmas present in the world but it is what I think that you need. It is what I think will help you come to terms with the past 5 months. This will help us start our new year together. A year that will be better than any other we have had in the past. This coming year will bring us happiness and joy. And lots of love. This year will be our time. Our time to be ourselves and our time to shine. I know it sound corny but it is true. This will be our year, Jasper.

That being said...I want us to start this year without any of the emotions you have been feeling. All the pain and regret that you feel, let it go. The distance that you think I need, do not put it between us anymore. All your reservations about talking about my change and that Fourth of July night, drop them. Let them go. Disappear. I have no regret about that night. Not one. You hear me? I do not regret it. I do not look back on that night and cringe and I do not want you to either. I want us to look back and smile. Smile, because it was the first night of the rest of our lives together. Smile, because we believed in love at first sight. That we believed in love at all.

I want us to have the same passion that we had that night. The passion that burned our bodies as we made love for the first time. The passion that made us cry out each other's names. I want us to bask in the heat of our love. I do not want you to shake away the image of us moving together as one. I do not want you to ignore the moment when I cried out your name or the moment when you bit me. I want you to savor that moment. I do. I remember it like it was yesterday, Jasper. I remember everything.

The humid air, sticky and thick. The feel of your cool skin on mine, cooling me off. The view of your body standing naked and proud in front of me, scars and all. I remember it all. And I do not want to forget it. I do not want you to either. I want us to remember it always. I want us to remember it as the best night of our lives. Years....decades...centuries from now, when you look back on that night, I want you to remember it as I do. Do not think about the pain that I felt for the days after your bit. Do not see it as a bad thing. That night...that bit, it gave us our forever. Please, please, do not regret that.

Love it. Treasure it. _Don't forget._

I wish I had more to say or more time to write but we are leaving in the morning for Houston. I will miss Galveston. It has been my home all my life. I have grown up playing on the streets here. All my memories are here. However, I will forget them, won't I? I will loose them in a year or two. They will become fuzzy and eventually disappear forever. But you will not. I will have you wherever we go and I will always have our memories. As a matter of face, your face is the first thing I saw when I woke up. Your voice was the first I heard and your touch was the first I felt.

Those memories are worth the ones that I will loose, Jasper. I want you to know that. You might feel bad knowing that I will not remember anything from my human life but I am not. You are my life. You are my home. My heart. My memories will always be of you and I will always treasure them.

Forever and Always,

Temperance

I laid the aged yellow paper down on the top of my briefcase. Though I know every word on the page, I cannot help but look it over again. I have memorized this letter. I had it memorized an hour after she gave it to me.

It was our first Christmas. She was still a newborn but was more stable than others that I changed. I thought that it was because she was with me 24/7 and because I was in a relationship with her. Temperance liked to joke that she was special. I agreed. Maria, on the other hand, did not think anything of it. She did not seem to realize how big of an accomplishment it was for me to take Temperance to the boardwalk when she was only a few months old. Still, that Christmas was a busy year for Galveston and I did not want to take any chances by letting her go into town so she settled for writing me a letter for a gift.

It was the best thing anyone ever gave me.

Having I written that she did not regret that night was such a relief. She told me on numerous occasions that she was okay with her new life and that I was over reacting but I didn't listen. However, after reading her letter, I was fine. Her words were honest and I could see in her eyes that she was okay. She was happy. She was ready and willing to leave her home to make a new one with me. That is the greatest gift and she gave it without hesitation.

So I kept the letter. I wore it on my person for weeks but when Maria told me to start training Temperance, I hid it in a box and kept it safe. I did not want to risk ripping it or loosing it. It meant too much to me.

She meant too much to me. Still does.

A soft rustling sounded above me and I looked up to see a squirrel sitting on the lowest branch, looking at me. It is big, bulgy eyes locked with mine for a few seconds before I looked away.

It had brown eyes. Temperance had brown eyes. It was too hard too look at when I already wanted to try to push her out of my mind. God, she was driving me nuts. I cannot even look at a squirrel without thinking of her. No wonder Roger was freaking out over this. He could not stop thinking of her either. Luckily, for him, though, he goes to see me, a therapist, to talk about his feelings. Where do I go? Whom can I talk to?

The crunching of gravel flowed through the trees. I took a quick paused from my mental ranting and sniffed the air. When I caught the familiar scents, I sighed.

Charlie, Jacob and Billy Black were here.

It was time to head back to the house and prepare for a hectic weekend. Not that we had any plans but it was always hectic when Jacob was here. Not that he purposely caused trouble because he knew better than to start something in the same house with Rosalie. But emotions ran high because he and Nessie were getting...closer. Renesmee wanted to be alone with him, like a normal girl, and Edward wanted to shred Jacob to pieces, like a normal father wanted to do when his daughter's boyfriend spent the weekend.

Thing is, Edward was very likely and very capable of literally shredding Jacob if he crossed the line. Those feelings right there were enough to drive everyone insane because Edward wanted everyone to know where he stood with alone time between his daughter and the dog. To add to it, Bella tried to be the mediator and voice of reason, which everyone knows is laughable because she cannot choose between her husband and daughter when they are pit against one another.

Add Rosalie's bitter manner to Jacob, Alice's aggravation in not seeing the lottery numbers for the weekend while the Black's were here and you have one hell of a hectic house. The only peace I find is with Emmett because he does not give a damn as long as the game is on and he and Charlie are in a quiet room to pay attention.

I picked up my briefcase and box of old memories before standing and starting my trek back to the house, wishing that it might be a little peaceful this time.

----------------------

I felt a little like Alice at this point. I was bouncing on my feet. My hands were twirling around together, showing exactly how fried my nerves were. My eyes were wide and staring down the driveway. Granted, I could only see a few hundred feet before it curved into the thick brush of the trees but I was still staring, waiting.

Jacob, his father Billy and my grandpa Charlie were visiting me this weekend. And they promised us _big_ news. I have tried all week to get it out of Jacob but it was in vain. He did not slip or ever give me the tiniest hint.

That is how I knew it was big. If he was not willing to give me the smallest of hints, he was afraid he has spill it because it was that good of news. Therefore, I was excited for the news. And Jacob, of course. And Charlie.

It was not everyday that I got to see them. They lived in Forks and I lived in Astoria. It was not a long drive but it was long enough to forfeit daily afternoon trips to see my best friend and grandfather. I missed them and hated that I did not see them as much as I wanted to but I could not help that. My family had to move after I was born or it would cause an uproar of suspicion. My mom wasn't pregnant with me long enough to prance around town with me without making people take a second look and I grew to fast to go anywhere near anyone other than my family.

My childhood sucked really but it was fast. And it was full of love. I did not lack anything except the outside world. I do not feel like I missed out on anything especially since I am going to be able to make it up later on in my immortal life.

Anyways, back to the subject at hand. It was not just this weekend that had me all riled up. Nope, it is more than that if you can believe it.

My first week of school is over. To others who have been going to public school all their lives it might not seem like a big feat. But for me it is. I went the whole week without incident...well, without big incident. I did not eat anyone...though I was close to snapping at someone who I shall not name...Linzi, and I did not make a complete fool of myself. Though I might have made a few honor's student's want to make extra study time. What can I say? My dad has lived long enough to ace anything and everything these teachers teach.

Therefore, I am fully relieved that I managed to make it one week and not have a mental breakdown. I do think that Leilah and Kat are to thank for that though. Anytime Linzi or Julie went on the prowl, I had both of them at my defense. They were great. Kat was hilarious and really down to earth, unlike half of the people there. And Leilah was...well, Leilah was Leilah. She was top notch, good deed girl. I figured out real quick that she was not overly friendly and nice just to me but to everyone she met. Even when they shot her down or blew her off, which was not often, she took it with her chin held up high and did not judge them.

Leilah was just about as perfect as they came. Usually that would make me sick but she was not the type to try to be perfect and rub it in your face. She was just a very open and very kind person at heart. The more I talk about her the more my mom tells me that Leilah reminds her of her old high school friend Angela.

"Angela was a great girl. Unlike, your friend Leilah though, Ang was quiet and liked to keep to herself. But she was kind and friendly. She did not gossip or push you into doing things you did not want to do. She was a good soul and those kinds of people are hard to come by. Keep Leilah close. She seems like a great young woman."

Mom was really happy that I found friends already. She was worried that I was going to be a loner or not fit in anywhere...which was my fear at first, but I worried for no reason. It's not like I was in a clique or anything but I had my group of friends. And my group of friends happened to be friends with people in every other tiny pack of people that was at the school.

They did not judge you for what you were or what you were not. And me being what I am, that's what I need the most. Part of me thinks that if I ever let them meet my family, they wouldn't freak out. Hell, Alice and Leilah would be great friends but that would be way too much energy in one house.

So after said first week of school and my upcoming weekend, I am pretty stoked. My whole body is shaking with excitement and every time I touch my Aunt Ali, she gets a mind full of Jake, Charlie, more Jake and Billy.

"I know, I know. They're coming." she chuckled beside me. I grinned at her so huge that I thought my face might break apart but I did not care.

"I get to see Jake!" I squealed and hugged her. She laughed aloud and patted my back. "I'm sorry. I'm just _really_ excited."

"Really? I don't think anyone can tell." I looked back to see Uncle Jay leaning on the frame of our front door. I grinned at him and he shook his head as he looked over to Alice. "Be glad that you can't feel her emotions. It's liable to make you want to run up the walls."

"Oh, I could _so_ do that about now." And I was dead serious. If I could I'd climb up the side of the house and wave at the car as it drove up our long ass drive way. "Can you hear them? Smell them?" I asked, looking between my completely amused aunt and uncle.

"They are close." Uncle Jay nodded and I squealed again. I heard a grunt from inside the house and I narrowed my eyes at Aunt Rose when she walked outside to join us.

Here is where I should mention that Aunt Rose and Jake hate each other. And not the kind of hate that you form when someone steals your girlfriend or boyfriend. It is the kind of hate that if provoked by one another, there would be werewolf and vampire pieces scattered in the yard. Their relationship is even more volatile than Jake's and my dads.

"Too close, as a matter of fact." she sneered as I glared at her. "That awful, pungent dog smell that your friend has is seeping into the house already. Makes my skin crawl and my stomach churn."

"Oh, shut your hole." I snapped at her and her eyes narrowed on mine.

The staring contest starts. It is what we do when we are mad at one another or do not agree. Neither of us wants to really argue and say a bunch of bad things so we glare at one another. I mentally call her a dumb blond that needs to back off my _extremely hot _best friend and tend to her child like husband while I am sure she is mentally telling me that my _dog_ needs a bath or needs to be neutered. Those things said aloud would start a huge fight that would end up involving the whole family so we keep said insults to ourselves and just glare at one another.

Of course, I blink first because my eyes dry out and hers do not. She walks away with a satisfied smile and I roll my eyes and wish Jake would hurry up so he can insult her for me.

The crunching of gravel catches my attention and I swing around to see Grandpa Charlie's black truck pulling to a stop in the driveway. My grin widens even more as Jake bounds out of the truck, looking straight at me. I run the few feet to the steps before leaping into his arms as he gets to the bottom of the porch.

"I missed you, I missed you, I missed you so much!" I gush as he twirls me around on the ground. I can feel the rumbling of his laughter in his chest and notice he has worked out recently.

"I missed you, too." he squeezes me hard then pulls back to look at me. This is where I'd put the long school girl sigh that usually comes right after she sees the hottest guy in the world looking at you like you hung the moon.

"Ahem?" We turn to look back to the truck where Billy and Grandpa Charlie are watching us with amused smirks on their face. "Did we become invisible or do you need glasses for the people smaller than the giant?" I laughed at my grandpa and jumped down from Jake's hold.

There is a lot that Grandpa Charlie does not know but that is because he does not want to know. He is content having my mom and me in his life even if it is not very normal. He knows that I'm different but he doesn't love me less. In addition, that makes me love him more.

I wrap my arms around him and smile as he hugs me back tight. "Hey, Grandpa. I've missed you." I whispered into his shoulder. He rubs my back and lays his cheek on my head.

"I've missed you too, doll." he whispers back. I lay my right hand on his arm and close my eyes.

I see the first time I saw him at our old house in Forks. I see him on my first birthday, laughing when Jake shoves my face in my cake. I see him holding me to his chest while I cried after I skinned my knee from falling off my bike. I see him pointing to his office in the police station. I see him quickly wipe away a few tears as my dad drives way from Forks when we moved to Astoria. Then I show him my mom and dad trying to console me that night when I screamed for Grandpa Charlie to read me a bedtime story.

I see these memories and I know he does to.

"You won't have to cry over me anymore, doll. I promise." he whispers and I pull back to look at him. He has a tiny smile on his face and his eyes are glistening.

"What do you mean?" I ask, but before he can answer, I hear my mom rush up to us and gently push me away so she can get her hug in. Everyone laughs and I move around them to see Billy, who is already in his chair courtesy of Jake, who was standing behind him.

"Hey Billy." I smile and lean down to hug him. Billy had some trouble accepting my family because of who they were but he did not let that change the way he felt about my mom or me. Grandpa Charlie and him have known one another for too long to have something come between them.

"How are you, kiddo? Doing good, I hope?" he smiled and I nodded.

"Yep. School is great. I actually like it." I confessed and Jake scoffed.

"It'll start to suck over time." An evil glint shown in his eyes as he said this. "Though I doubt I'd have a problem with an all girls school. Why can't we get those on the Res, dad?" he joked and Billy rolled his eyes.

"Like you would look at any of the girl's there." My mom cut in with a smirk. Jake turned a deep shade of red and turned away from me. I bit my lip to keep from smiling.

It was not a secret that he imprinted on me but it wasn't usually brought up. Not because I didn't have feelings for him, because I did, but because my dad would start to turn a bad blue color, which is odd for a vampire, and then run off. He tolerated it when I was younger but as I grew up...that toleration disappeared. It's getting harder to tell me that I cannot date and that seriously annoys him.

"Mom, stop it." I let a small chuckle slip and Jake turned to glare at me. I walk over to him and pinch his arm. "I didn't think you could blush." I teased and stood on my tiptoes to kiss his cheek. His head snapped over and a devilish grin graced his handsome face.

Before we could get any closer, a harsh whisper sounded in my ear. "Warning."

My dad stepped out the door and I silently thanked Uncle Jay from the heads up. Daddy would not like seeing Jake and I get too close.

"Charlie, Billy." he greeted as he came down from the porch. His face hardened ever so slightly when he looked at Jake. "Black."

"Cullen." Jake nodded tersely. I rolled my eyes.

The last name thing was so out dated. They did it every time that tried to show up their manhood. Mom said they did the same thing before I was born. They had to try to act as if they were big bad men.

Again, it was getting old.

"Enough." my mom smirked, stepping between them. She looked at Jake and stepped in to give him a gentle hug. "Good to see you again. Glad you could come."

Jake's eyes stayed on my dads when eh answered her. "Sure, sure. Any time, it's not trouble." After a tense moment of silence, I tugged on Jake's arm.

"How about we take a walk?" I suggested and my mom nodded quickly. "I have lots to tell you about my school and you need to give the down low of everything Forks and Res related, okay?"

Though my dad looked like he was going to have an aneurysm, he nodded along with my mom. "That'd be best. It seems the grown ups need to have a talk." He looked to Grandpa Charlie and Billy. I looked to Jake for an answer and he just grinned. Before I could ask, what was going on, he tugged my arm and we walked into the forest.

"Hey, what was that back there? Are they going to spill the big news while I'm gone?" I asked, as I carefully made my way through the uneven forest. Jake stopped in front of me and turned around.

"Yeah, but it's my job to tell you while they discuss it." he said. I crossed my arms and waited.

"Well, spill pooch!" He narrowed his eyes but any annoyance vanished as he walked to stand just a few inches in front of me.

"Looks like Astoria just got a population boost." he whispered. I cocked my head to the side and stared at him confused. He held up three fingers and wiggled them. My eyes widened when I caught what he meant.

"Oh my _God_, you're staying?" I squeaked and as soon as the words left my mouth, a deafening roar sounded from the general direction of my house.

Uh oh. Daddy is not happy.

I looked back at Jake's face and cringed.

However, Jacob Black was grinning like a fool.


	7. Rainy Days

**Nessie POV**

"Stop smiling." I warned with what I hoped was a menacing look on my face. Even though I loved the fact that my grandfather and Jake were moving here, I was not happy that my father was going to be under more stress. I also was not happy that Jake was enjoying my father's misery at the moment.

"Oh, come on. It's funny." Still grinning, he started walking deeper into the forest. I made my way after him to scold him some more. "I mean, he's the mind reader. He knows just about everything before we even know it ourselves and he didn't even see this coming."

I shook my head at him. "It's still not funny. You, your dad and grandpa were blocking him, weren't you?" I asked. He flashed those pearly whites over his shoulder and I stopped in mid step. He stopped too and frowned at me. "You did this on purpose." I accused.

"Did not." he insisted while shoving his hands into his pockets. Oh, he was nervous.

"Yes, you did. You know that Alice cannot see you so she was blind to what you all were planning. And you purposely blocked my dad so he would be unprepared." I was fuming by now. "Jake, why would you do that to my dad?"

"Why not?" his hands fidgeted in his pockets. "I thought you'd think it was funny. We all know how he is about me and I thought it would be funny to catch him off guard."

"And we all know my dad has reasons for how he is about you." I started walking again and bumped his shoulder as I passed him. I heard him let out a long sigh before following me.

"Nessie, please. Stop real quick." he begged. I didn't want to stop but he was sounding desperate and I liked that. It meant that he was on the verge of apologizing, which meant that I won again.

"What?" The word was clipped and I mentally smiled when he winced.

Another long sigh came before he spoke again. "I'm sorry. I really did think you would find it funny. I thought you would like the idea of us moving here but..." he trailed off slowly and I groaned. Great, he turned this around on me. Now, I needed to apologize.

"Jake, it's not like that." I assured him. His head dropped a little and I rolled my eyes. "Drop the sad act; you look like a homeless puppy." His head shot up and he gave me a fierce glare. I smiled and walked over to him. His arms were crossed over his chest and I pulled them apart so I could fit into them. "You know that I love you are moving here. I hate being so far away from you. I just don't like seeing my dad upset." He looked liked he was about to speak but I cut him off. "And before you say that he will get over it, I know that. It's just he's under a lot of stress these days."

"He's a vampire, he can take it." he scoffed. I pinched the underside of his arm and he smirked at me. "Yeah, that one hurt." I frowned at him and he wrapped his arms around me. "Alright, I'm sorry for my-"

"Insensitive plan." I cut in and he rolled his eyes.

"Yeah, my insensitive plan. I'm dearly sorry I hurt you-"

"And my dad." I added.

I saw his jaw clench as he spoke. "And your dad. Will you ever forgive me?" he looked down at me and I purse my lips in thought. When I started to tap my chin, he hurled me over his shoulder and started walking again.

"Ah, okay! I forgive you." I squealed. "Put me down." I slapped his back and he just laughed at me. "Really! Put me down now you mangy mutt!" I heard a low growl come from his lips as he set me down on my feet and continued to walk.

"You've been hanging around Rose too much." he complained as I fell into step with him.

"Yeah, well now you're going to have to deal with her again." I grinned as he clenched his fists. "But enough about that. Tell me about everyone back in Forks. How's the pack? What's new? What's going to happen when you move?" I rattled off questions that I had been remembering to ask and new ones that I just thought of after hearing his news.

"Well, the pack will stay the same. I can still be my own pack but if they need me, they know I will be there. But everyone's cool with it." he chuckled a little. "Seth most of all. He wants to visit every other weekend after we move. Rose would love that." I laughed with him and grabbed his arm.

"Make Leah come. That would really make Rose's day." I added in and frowned when I felt him tremble a little. I looked up to see him trying to hold in his laughter. "What?"

"Speaking of the she-devil, she's been Imprinted on." My mouth could have dropped completely off my face.

"Really?" I asked. I was too shocked to say anything else. "Who?"

"That last one to change before you guys left, Alex?" I nodded and he grinned. "It was him about three weeks ago. No one knew until the other day though. Leah kept it to herself because she didn't want to hear everyone's shit."

I nodded in agreement. "I can understand her. You guys give her hell."

"Only because she gives it ten-fold." he reminded me and I nodded in agreement again. That is when the uncomfortable silence started. I knew why. I wasn't stupid or anything. Nevertheless, this was almost an untouchable subject for us. We understood what it meant but we just never really talked about it. I was always too young or we were just too uncomfortable to talk about it.

"That must make things easier for her and Sam." I whispered trying to get us back to a normal conversation. However, Jake did not want that.

"No, listen we need to talk about it." he sighed deeply and rubbed his face. "We're alone and we need to get some things straight." I knew by the tone in his voice that he was about to lay it all out on the line no matter what. Mom said that he was blunt about things and he was about to prove her right.

"Okay." I nodded. He leaned up against a tree and stared me directly in the eyes.

"I don't want to make you feel weird or uncomfortable but Nessie," he sighed again and squeezed his eyes shut. "It's hard. Being away from you, not having you. It's killing me. I mean, I know I have you but I don't have you. Ya know?" he paused to take a peek at me. I nodded once and he continued. "I don't know how it is for girls when someone Imprints on them but for the guys it's amazing, Ness. I hear your voice and I cannot stop smiling. I see you and all I want to do is hold you. I want you, Nessie. I want to hold you, to kiss you and to be that guy for you. The guy that I was born to be. And I can't hold on any longer."

Wow.

"Wow." I couldn't help but to express that verbally. I heard a groan and focused on Jake again. He was shaking his head and squeezing his eyes shut.

"I'm sorry, Nessie. I didn't mean to make you feel weird. I just had to-"

I'm not sure what came over me at the moment in time but I couldn't ignore it. Jake had just spilt his heart and soul to me. He had just expressed the pent up feelings that were all for me. He admitted that he could not hold off any longer because he felt too strongly for me. He was completely blunt about it but it was honest. And it was the most romantic thing I had ever heard, and I heard a lot of romantic crap in my house from all the couples.

So seeing him at his most vulnerable state and then thinking that he made the wrong decision to tell me that. I had to let him know that it was okay. I wanted him to know that I felt the same way. I wanted him to hold me and to kiss me.

I wanted him.

So I showed him. I threw myself back into his arms and pressed my lips against his. The moment our lips touched though, I was lost. I hadn't kissed anyone in my life before. Technically, I was only like 8 years old. Yes, I grew twice the speed that humans did but still, I hadn't had the chance to go around and kiss people. I hadn't really wanted to kiss anyone besides Jake anyways but if I thought that Dad would hear and ground me.

So here I was kissing my werewolf-almost-boyfriend and not knowing what the hell I was doing. Great.

I got very insecure and started to pull away but as I did Jake held me still. He took his lips away from mine for a moment and trailed tiny kisses up my jaw and to my ear.

"Don't worry. Just go with it, Nessie." his voice was a lot deeper than it had been a minute ago. The path he used to leave my lips was the one he followed back down. His eyes met mine a second before he kissed me. His lips moved slowly against mine, showing mine how to move and soon enough, his lips pressed harder against mine and my fingers were buried in his hair.

God, his lips were perfect. Full, sweet perfection. Everything that I had heard from my family, the girls at school and on the television was put to shame. They talked about seeing fireworks or melting.

I didn't.

I didn't feel like I was about to fall, I was flying. I did not see the fireworks. Instead, I saw Jake. I saw all the time we had together. I saw him when I was little and we stood against the Volturri. Then I saw my dreams. The ones I had of him. The ones that were of him and me together in the future. No one telling us to be home by 10 o'clock. No one trying to keep us away from one another. I saw us. I saw our family.

I knew the moment his arms tightened on my waist that he was seeing what I was. He slowly pulled away from me and I saw a wet mark on his face. I was about to ask why he was crying but his hand stopped me. It was wiping the tears off my face.

I was crying.

"I'm sorry." I whispered. He just smiled and ran the pad of his thumb over my lips.

"Don't be. You're perfect." he assured me. His hand left my cheek and moved down to my waist where it snuck up under my shirt. I froze then relaxed. His hand only stayed on my waist. "I just want to feel you, Nessie. I won't go further." he kissed my temple and I leaned into his hand and body. He was warm. I mean, I knew he was warm but right now, he felt warmer.

He felt good. And I wanted more. Just a little more.

I grabbed his other hand and moved it up the other side of my shirt, stopping just below my ribs. I sighed contentedly when his rubbed my sides.

"You okay?" he asked. I looked up at him and almost nodded. I was not okay. I was still so inexperienced.

I sighed and buried my face in his chest. "Jake, I have no idea how to do this." I felt him squeeze my sides once before sliding his hands out. He laid them on my face and made me look up at him.

"Nessie, I know you don't. Well, at least you better not know." he smirked and I rolled my eyes. "But I'm not a pro at this either. I had very little experience before you came along." I felt my mouth drop again as I gaped at him.

"You mean, since you've Imprinted on me, you haven't..." I trailed off knowing that he knew what I was getting at.

He shook his head and smiled at me. "I couldn't think of anyone other than you, Nessie. It's been a killer these past years but I have been waiting for you. I'll keep waiting if I have to." I stood up on my toes and kissed him lightly once more.

"Thanks, Jake." Once again tears were running down my I didn't care this time. All I cared about was being in Jake's arms. The world could have fallen apart at that moment but I wouldn't have noticed.

The rain though, I noticed that.

"Aw man." I groaned and looked up at the sky as it sprinkled us with tiny raindrops. "It wasn't supposed to rain today."

"Well, looks like your meteorologist needs a new day job, eh? I could see the storm when we drove in." Jake said as we pulled apart. "Let's get back before it gets worse." I nodded and intertwined our fingers. We walked in silence but this time it was a comfortable one. No unspoken feelings. Just us and the quiet falling of the rain.

"Oh, look. I think you dropped something when we came out here," he pointed to a sheet of paper by a tree. I couldn't remember brining out anything when we left the house.

"I didn't have any paper on me." I let his hand go and walked over to pick up the paper. It was old. Very old.

"Well, who else comes out here? I doubt that it got blown all the way out here." he looked over my shoulder as I opened it.

"Uncle Jay comes out here a lot." I mumbled and slowly scanned the paper. It had to be his...

Whoa. This was definitely his.

"Uh oh." Jake muttered.

* * *

**Jasper POV**

I stayed inside as long as I could. I really did. However, between Edward's anger and annoyance, Bella's joy and worry for Edward, I just had to leave. To sum it all up.

Jacob and Billy Black were going to relocate with Charlie in one month. They are moving here. Charlie is taking a spot as the chief in the town over. Apparently, Jake can get a job at a local car repair shop and Billy gets money each month from the Government so they would not have to worry about money for a place to live. As for the pack, well, Jake has already gone off on his own once before so it is not really a big deal. Especially, because he is moving be to closer to his Imprint.

That brings up the other part of this discussion. Edward laid down some rules. Hard. Even Rose was protesting on some of his rules about how much time Jake could spend with Nessie in the house. Esme cut in and told everyone that no one should be too hard on them because the business of Imprinting of permanent. Eventually they would be together and the sooner everyone (Edward) got used to it the better off it would be.

Bless that woman.

A noise in the woods caught my attention. I listened closer and heard that it was Nessie and Jake. Arguing. I frowned as they got closer and their voices got clearer.

"Just talk to him about it. It might be nothing." Jake whispered harshly. I heard Nessie's snort that she got from her mother and chuckled.

"It can't be nothing, Jake. It's obviously something." she retorted.

"You are not being serious." Jake told her in a disbelieving tone. I heard a quick slap and a deep chuckle. This reminded me of Bella with Edward when she was human.

"I am too being serious. You're the one acting like a goon." It was then that they walked into the open. Nessie's steps faltered a bit when she saw me but Jake pushed her forward. Why was she so nervous all of a sudden? And suspicious?

"Everything okay?" I asked when they stepped onto the deck. Jake nodded and looked over at Nessie.

"Yeah, just talking about things," he answered when she didn't. I knew that look. And I knew this mood. She was upset about something and if she tried to talk, she would spit it out and open a can of worms and possibly tears. Bella had this mood a lot after Nessie was born.

"Well, I'm going to warn you now." I started and I saw Nessie's eyes widen. "Your father has some rules set out and I'm afraid some of them not even your mom can help you break."

"Oh my Gosh!" she stomped her foot on the deck and Jake smirked at her. "I am going to hurt him one of these days." She was completely frustrated now. I stopped them before they walked inside.

"If you need anything, like a ride to town or something, all you have to do is ask. You'll know what I mean when you hear the rules but I'm always available, Nessie." I assured her with a smile. Her emotions settled as she smiled at me.

"Thanks, Uncle Jay." she kissed me cheek and walked inside with Jake. Both of them were weary now and for good reason. They we were walking into their own personal hell. I heard the thunder in the distance and the wind pick up. Now the rain was blowing into the deck and getting me wet. Time to go inside.

I walked through the far door on the deck and into the library. I didn't feel like getting sucked back into the discussion about how long Nessie and Jake can have every afternoon together or how many dates they could have, if they were allowed to date at all yet. So I silently made my up to the bedroom were it was quiet.

I walked into my closet and thanked whoever made this house that there were two in Alice's room and mine. She had hers and I had mine. That gave me the privacy and space I needed. Space for my clothes and old cowboy boots. Privacy for the things that I have kept over the years. I pulled my jacket off and kicked my shoes into the corner of the closet. I looked to the top of my closet and leaned up to move a brown box out of the way. I used to keep all of my letters and stuff from Temperance in a locked file cabinet that Alice thought was for J. Jenks but when we moved into this house and I rummaged through the new closet I found a tiny door. I guess it was used for hiding jewelry or important documents and now it held all of my memories. I opened the door and pulled out the tinier beat up box that was within. I set it down on the small table that was in the middle of the closet and opened it up.

In this box was everything that I dreamed about. There were pictures of Temperance and myself from all over the South. There were notes that I had written her and had gotten back when we separated. There were notes that she had written me and there were little momentums of our love. There was the ring that I gave her the day I asked for her hand in marriage. There was the old pocket watch that she gave me for our anniversary. Everything that was us was in this box.

I reached into my pocket and froze. I could have sworn that I put the letter in my jeans pocket. I walked over to my jacket and searched its pockets.

"What the hell?" I muttered and re-checked all the pockets in my jeans and jacket again.

Nothing. Damnit.

I must have dropped it out in the woods. I rushed over to the window and cursed colorfully when I saw the rain pouring down in thick sheets. There was no way it had survived the rain. That letter was gone now.

Don't forget.

"I won't."

* * *

_I remember when we kissed_

_I still feel it on my lips_

_The time that you danced with me_

_With no music playing_

_I remember those simple things_

_I remember till I cry_

_But the one thing I wish I'd forget_

_A memory I wanna forget_

_Is goodbye_

_- Goodbye by Miley Cyrus_


End file.
